Hello again. Since we last spoke I got partially laid off at my job and have been thinking of nothing else since. They cut my hours from full time to part time. In half. Unemployment payments make up almost the other half, so it’s not too bad. I’m still totally freaked out constantly. I keep being hired by these Internet companies that want to pay me $2/hr. I apply for local jobs too, they just don’t hire me. Wow.

Today I applied for a job exactly like what I’m doing now, but at another company. And full time instead of part. It’d be awesome if I got it. I am tired of thinking so hard. DAMN.

I have plans to make money with my own blogs and websites, etc., but I know that takes time. Not the thing to be doing now. And yet, I have nothing to do but sit here all day. Okay, half the day. I’m waiting to see if my article was approved for a website I just started working for. If so, I guess I will write more. It involves a lot of research. I know nothing about the subjects. Grr. I mean… uh… .

Is this a bad economy thing or am I unemployable? It would be a good idea to get some specialized training, I guess. At some point. Probably medical coding. Since I’m such a bad typist. Otherwise I would say medical transcription. And then for the love of God an Accounting degree of some sort! Even an associates! That is assuming I am never going to make a living from my writing. Safe assumption, right? Grr. I mean, wait a minute. If I write non-fiction for my own websites, I could make a lot of money there. I think I know just how to do it. Why am I not doing it then? Because something always interrupts me. A new job online, or someone calling for an interview. And then I remember, “Oh, yeah, my life is in flux.” I can’t exactly make plans. Pfft. I should, though. Make plans while I wait? Something like that. Easier said than done. This is very unnerving.

The company I work for, the one job I do have in reality, is kind of going under and on the verge of being bought by another company. YEAH. I feel the stability! Why am I not taking an anti-anxiety pill? ‘Cause I’m tired of taking daily naps, that’s why. Sheesh.

When will my life belong to me again, dammit? That is all I ask. I want to work, go home, and BE at home. Leave work at work. You know? Excellent. That is all. I still feel like I’m at work. Daytime has a buzz to it, though. I don’t mind it when I am actually at work. But being at home and feeling the bzzz is weird. You know, like the emotions of people being busy. Like that.

I’m supposed to be hanging out with my sister! If she’s even at home. Whoops. I’m hungry. Anyone have a…. what am I craving? I need to work more food into my budget. I guess.

Checking my article again…. still no change. Hmm. Stopped to check my email. Totally forgot what I was doing. Argh.

Well, this is gonna be shorter than usual. I can’t even watch Netflix! I had to put my account on hold to save money. Did not think I would be sitting here in February still with no idea what I was going to be doing. Unbelievable. It’s funny I thought I was bad off before because I had no time. HA!

That’ll teach me. To have thoughts. I guess.

Pondering what I can string together to make a meal in my kitchen. I have Ramen noodles, but those are not filling. Or healthy, let’s face it. Um… huh. Not a clue. Crap, my life sucks! I just had to be a novel writer…. DUMB.

Fine then. I’m gonna go now. See what I have cans of. Yep. Etc. Hmm, search for more jobs maybe…. this makes sense. Bah!

Later.~