Now that I’ve called this “Toxic”, I think my work here is done. I was gonna bitch and complain about everything. It was gonna be fun! Whatever.

My computer is slow. I have too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it. My health sucks crap lately. Even though I’m losing weight. Hurray! Just not fast enough. Well, probably at a healthy pace, though. Grr.

I’m trying to get my romance novel released under my pen name and it has been so…. slow going. I’ve got a little bit of an audience built up, and I haven’t even finished editing the book. Though, really all it needs is some spellcheck, punctuation check, etc. And I have to design a cover. And learn how to use Create Space, and the Kindle uploady thing, and Smashwords. Three things I have never used before! Then I have to copyright the book. Then add webrings to my site, cuz you can’t add them ’til you have content on your site. And serialize my book. While selling it. ???!! It’s a thing I’m trying. I’ll let you all know if it works and I become a millionaire. Pfft. I think I would be happy with a hundred bucks. Not really happy, but hey, close enough.

I’m thisclose to thinking I have some kind of diabetes. I know, right???!!!! I’m eating a sort of diabetic diet and losing weight. I want to lose weight and get rid of the potential diabetes so I don’t even have to worry about it. So I can be in denial that it was ever there. See? I think I have electrolyte imbalance issues. Low sodium. I have all kinds of issues! Menstrual issues it makes me want to pass out to talk about. Not that you need details, but goddammit a person shouldn’t bleed that much. It gave me vertigo and made me so dehydrated I started to lose my voice. Ew. (Herbal tinctures with alcohol in them probably didn’t help the dehydration…) It sapped all my energy. I walked around slowly, like I didn’t have enough oxygen. Totally bizarre!

TMI, but I had to complain about it somewhere. I’ve been told to go to the doctor about it, but I work in a doctor’s office. They pretty much have 3 solutions to the too-much-bleeding problem. The pill (which will fuck up my hormones and make my blood pressure worse), endometrial ablation (meaning they burn the lining of your uterus, so no kids for you), or hysterectomy (also a big fat no kids for you). I guess they could also inject me with progestin. ?? Which has it’s own side effects. HMM. I have 6 or 7 different herbs, vitamins, etc. that I take. They work well enough, but I have to set my alarm to wake up a few times a night to take my pills. Sucks rocks! In case anyone wants to know what they are because they have this problem: shepherd’s purse, lady’s mantle, cramp bark, raspberry leaf (makes me so sleepy/dizzy and nauseous, but works), spirulina (blue green algae also good, or chlorophyll), vitamin c, and ibuprofen (this may be the best one, but wean yourself off of it, don’t go cold turkey, headache). Phew, I feel better. I imparted knowledge. You’ll have to google them all to find out why they work, though. I just don’t want to go into it! Oh, I also take vitex (chaste tree berry) daily. I forgot.

You know, I bought a whole domain name for this kind of gory girly talk, but I don’t want to have to build a site up and blah blah blah. Too much effort. It bothers me that this herbal stuff is stuff I should have been taught in high school. By someone. Mother, whoever. But she doesn’t know this stuff. Someone should be teaching it. This should be old hat to me now. I should have moved on to other more important things by now. Instead of learning all this shit by trial and error. Grr. I get mad about stuff like that. How the world should be. I hate reading articles and having them state things as medical fact just because it hasn’t been proven yet. Like that herbs don’t work because they haven’t been proven to work. But who pays for the big studies to prove things work? Drug companies who don’t want you to be able to fix yourself. How would they make money if you could do that? You know, I’ve noticed that people who live to be 90-something or 100-something have very short medication lists. But people in their 60’s and 70’s with huge long med lists, they die younger. At 60 or 70 something. I don’t know what this means. Maybe the people were already sick and needed the medicine. Maybe one pill makes them sick and they take more pills to deal with the side effects of the others. My friend’s mother took a high blood pressure med for years before it was discovered it caused diabetes. And by then it was too late. She now has diabetes. HMMM. Yeah, I think I hate prescription drugs. Some can’t be avoided I’m sure, but a lot of them can be. Grrrr. Have you seen that ad for the asthma medication that says, “May cause asthma related death”? Whatever!

Didn’t know this would turn into a health care rant. Health insurance companies could save a lot of money if they encouraged herbal or natural solutions for things. HMM. LOL. The German Commission E does it. I think that’s kind of like the US FDA. ?? Ooo, intriguing, I just looked it up. The German Commission E was formed in 1978 to study over 300 herbs and make recommendations, and the commission no longer exists, but their recommendations are still followed. Ooooo! Neat!

I’ve gotten sidetracked. I wanted to rant! I’m drinking Gatorade. Rehydrating. Then eating a protein bar to balance the sugar in the Gatorade. Egads! High maintenance. Yes, that is what bothers me. I am high maintenance. Very annoying. And I’m getting very sleepy. I haven’t slept through the night in a week! Tonight I will though. Weaning myself off the pills and tinctures. ‘Crosses fingers.’ Hope it all goes well. Yeeks. THEN, tomorrow I go dogsit for a week. So, I can’t work on book stuff. Two weekends lost. But I am dragging my friend to the Harry Potter movie next weekend. Weeeee!!!!!

And then, for the love of God, I hope I can finally get some work done on my book. Get that stupid thing published. I mean it’s not stupid! Hee hee. It’s actually quite good, I think, if you like that sort of thing. Romance. Hmm. I probably need my ibuprofen. I’m starting to get that withdrawal headache. Argh. A few more doses and I’ll be free of it. For a little while. You can tell that one’s a drug, it has the worst side effects. But it also works well. HMMM. But so do the others. Just… I think it works more forcefully. Something. Less gentle. And I felt like being less gentle.

Man, I’m tired. Bah. Apparently this is the end of my rant. I guess I’d better go before I fall asleep at the keyboard. Adios.~