I’m going offline for a bit, a longish bit. Possibly for all of November. I thought I’d say it before I did it, in case anyone wondered if I’d been hit by a bus or something. I’m fine! I just need to recharge my batteries. Be hermit-like. I will probably be releasing my novel sometime in November, though. So, keep your eyes open for that. I’ll post in here when I do, and send an email to my group. Somewhere over there —->

The remote is by the chair, there’s food in the fridge. Make yourself at home. I shall return.

Later.~

Randomly chose a word for the title. I should have called it “Disturbia”, since I have that song stuck in my head. Oh well.

Wiiinnnntteeeerrrrrr. It’s coming. Yuck. Well, that was depressing. Next topic.

I’m tired of working on my book, but I’m gonna give it a full 8 hours on Saturday and see what I accomplish. I took two days off next month and I’ll work on it then too. I just don’t have big chunks of time to devote to it. Sucks.

Two bees flew out of my car’s engine today. That’s a kind of car trouble I haven’t had before. Funny, God. Good one. Grr.

My mother asked me to come over and help her set up her laptop. I opened it up and said, “Okay, how do you make it go? How do you turn it on?” She said, “Well, this should go well.” I’d never used one before! Sheesh! She had it all figured out anyway, so I just surfed the web. Watched TV shows on You Tube with her super fast connection. Jealous.

Speaking of commerce (pff??), this story fascinates me. I Googled “17 year old” to see if there were hyphens in it, and I found that article. (I was editing, there is a 17-year-old girl in my book.) If you actually Google that you will find some really disturbing stories of teenage girls being killed. I’m sorry, I can’t help it! I had to read the stories, and then it bummed me out. Okay then.

Hey, I was gonna be cheerier than this. But I’m in a mood. Am I not always in a mood? Perhaps. Creepy, I changed metapad over to transparent mode. Woa. Trippy. I’d better switch that off. Maybe. Yeah, that’s creepy. Phew! Gone.

I may switch to notepad. Just for kicks. It has lucida console or something for a font. One moment! Nope, this is fucked up. Changing back. Bye, lucida console! Love that font. Okay.

I think I ran out of steam. Too much mini-Twitter blogging. Did I tell you the story of blasting Dr. Horrible music, the instrumental marching majestic evil song, and stopping at a stop sign and a deer standing there actually staring at me and backing away slowly? ‘Twas funny. She could have just been thinking, “Car!” or “Human!” But with that music going it was very hilarious.

That was a while ago. Oh, I remember something. I watched Grease 2. It was bad. I didn’t think it would be that bad, though. Wow. Yeah… it was crap. I like the motorcycle storyline, but that’s about it. Nice. But a weird movie. I also watched Vision Quest. Also a bad weird movie, but at least it tried to be something. It just really failed. A movie about a bunch of people encouraging a teenage boy to starve himself to the point of nosebleeds and fainting? Yeah, go team. ????!!!! Fucked up. But interesting. Were the nosebleeds the reason for the R rating? Cuz I couldn’t think of anything else. ? Weird!!!!

Yeah…. I like TV shows better than movies. They get deeper into the characters’ lives, etc. It goes on longer. It’s just better! Dude! I am watching HIMYM (don’t make me spell it out….) and I loooove the “Rebound Bro” episode. I kept laughing at it at work, it was still playing in my head. No one noticed I was laughing to myself! BAH! But I digress. “Haley. Come here, Haley. Haley, you are a fat ugly whore.” LOL!! Damn, that was funny. Okay then. And, again, nosebleeds. But this time funny. But still gross. Which is what was funny. Okay then!

Sigh… well, at least I laughed in this blog entry. I feel trapped! Ahhhhh!!!!!!! Now you know. Possibly by winter (Seasonal Affective Disorder), possibly by the JOB, possibly… yeah, that’s pretty much it. ETC. Maybe I shouldn’t try so hard with this book. Maybe. Cuz…. I have a paperback book planned and a preview video, which means I need photos I can use, and music, and…. ‘head spinning.’ Maybe it should just be about the words. You know? Really. I could just keep writing the words…. But then who will market it? Who cares?? What?! I don’t know…. Grr.. Interesting…. I’m burned out.

Maybe I should stop watching crap movies and start watching something that will actually inspire me. Thoughts???!!!! What have I wanted to watch? (You know, besides The Guild, which starts next month, or Dollhouse, which starts in… February?) Urrggghh! I tried watching Charmed. It also, ummm, okay, sucked. But I almost liked it! I read that it gets better, but I couldn’t bear to watch! I liked the episode with John Cho, but that was it.

I’m running out of sci-fi/fantasy television! I also liked The Legend of Neil. I should link to these things when I mention them. One moment. -There, I linked it, and also The Guild, but Dollhouse can fend for itself. I mean, err… what? I love it already in advance, it just has all of Fox behind it. Juuuust Google it. I’m all out of linking power. Whatever.

Going to Hell. I had to sit through the worst staff meeting today. People were crammed into a room, some had to sit on the floor. One woman had to crawl under a table to get out of the room to use the bathroom. It was the slowest most torture filled meeting. It was stopped twice to discuss how torturous it was and how much longer it would go on. Then started up again. Aahhhhhh! God. I scribbled a black nothing on my pad of paper. I think I accidentally created a portal to Hell. Oops. I swear if I am ever in Hell, it’ll just be this meeting repeated on a loop. Man. SUCKED.

That’s why I’m in a bad mood! Is it? Hell if I know. Heh. Pfft. I wish I had something cheerier to say. I just feel like being pessimistic and filled with gloom. I should have polls in here. I could ask weird questions. It could be fun. I should add up how many times Mandra has been downloaded. But I think it would depress me. Let’s see…. I estimate, and this is the low end of possible reality: 15,000. Wow. That’s kind of nice. I mean, it’s not a million! But it’s a lot. Neat! I will take it! A college professor, when I said I wanted to be a writer, once snidely asked me if I wanted to write the Great American Novel. The thought had never even crossed my mind. I thought, “Heck no. I want to write something entertaining.” Pfft. I think out loud I just said, “No.” Way to be encouraging, though, teacher. Thanks. Grr.

Okay, now I’ve bummed myself out again. Dangit! I think I can’t win today. Yep, it’s a bummer. Hey, I’m winning in my stats against Buffy and Spike. Go me. I should stop mentioning them!!!! Google will see! Google sees all!!!! Okay, I’m creating drama again. I should just write it down…. I mean write another novel. But the editing, the horror, the horror!

Clearly I’m too burned out to think straight. I’m going now. Later.

In lieu of editing, I’m going to post a blog entry. Cuz it’s more fun and I just worked all day. And I want to try something. I’m writing this entry in metapad. Check it out. It’s awesome. I love simple fast no-frills free software. YES!

Okay, so far I am calmer in here. It’s purple, by the way. I know, I’m too obsessed with that color. I getcha. I’ll stop now.

Did I actually have anything left to say? I forgot to post an excerpt from my novel. A longer one. I meant to do that, but then…. I forgot. And I realize now it was really spoilery. Maybe it’s better to just read it with no… okay “spoilers” is the only word I can think of. Damn, it’s hot in here.

The other day I was making muffins and I was having trouble with measuring or something and I found myself saying, “Not so funny now, is it, baking mix?” If my neighbors could hear me…. Well, they’d think I’m as crazy as they already think I am. Especially the girl who looks at me like I’m wearing dead ferrets all over my body when she sees me in the hall. Okay, one time I went out in my pajamas to get a package. Get over it! The other time she gave me a look like that I was wearing sunglasses inside and I probably looked like… Morticia wearing sunglasses inside. People always think I’m angry and scary when they see me. Then they find out I am nice and harmless and all is fine. But all I did was look at her and she said, “Oh. Sorry.” I think I just kept walking. I was in a hurry. This is why I never EVER wear black anymore. It freaks people out, and I look so pale and dark haired people expect me to be wearing black. So, none of that! My gothy picture sort of grew out of that. Now it’s the only picture of me that I like cuz I’m thin in it! Thinking of taking some new pics. Of me looking more how I look. Or something.

That was a long paragraph. I think I’m probably too relaxed because I’m on my own computer still. Not on the web. Zzzzz…… Excellent. This is becoming very diary-like. Ummm…. I lost 9 pounds! It’s probably bad luck to say that, yes? But I refuse to believe that. I will just quietly lose 9 more and then 9 more, and you don’t want to know how many more after that. But a lot. I want to be able to breathe again! But then the broken springs in my bed will start to bother me, cuz I won’t have all this natural padding anymore. Hey, the springs were broken when I got the hand-me-down bed. Get your mind out of the gutter. Not that it necessarily was in the gutter, I’m just preempting the thoughts. Speaking of beds. They were giving away the old hotel beds when I worked at the hotel, but I just couldn’t bring myself to take one. Dude, hotel beds. A gazillion people sleeping in one bed is bad enough, and I will leave it at that! Was that prudish and stupid? I mean, it’s not like I’ve never slept in a hotel bed. Jeesh….. Okay, enough with the sexual undertones paragraph.

I should stop talking about my book in here. I don’t know how long it will take me to nitpick it to perfection. Enough to be published. But, ummm… I can’t help it! Maybe I should post that spoilery excerpt. Then you can know if it’s the kind of book you’d be into or if you’d rather skip it. Now what kind of an attitude is that? I’m such a great salesperson. Sheesh. Okay, first of all:

fugue (fyoog): A psychological disturbance in which actions are not remembered after return to a normal state.

Crap, I just dumped a bunch of pens all over the floor. Anyway! Cool definition, no? Okay, now the excerpt. It’s full of those spoilers I warned you about, so if you don’t want to know too much about the book, stop reading now!

[beginning of Fugue scene]

She came to with a start. She almost fell over. She was standing at the big sink in a laundry room, possibly her own. Her hands were running something under the faucet, cold water made her hands feel icy. She looked down and jumped again. Blood.

She was washing blood out of a light blue shirt. She started to cry. Her hands kept washing the shirt, controlled by Kayla or Zane, or just momentum, she did not know.

“You killed again,” Rachel said angrily out loud.

There was no answer.

“Zane!” she yelled into the air.

‘We have to,’ Zane said quietly in her head. ‘Or they’ll kill us or lock us up.’

Rachel kept scrubbing the shirt furiously. As if she could really wash away the murder.

“Who was it this time?” Rachel asked finally, quietly.

‘A stranger,’ Zane said. Then she took over the body, “That’s all you’ll ever need to know.”

Rachel faded to black again.

[end of Fugue scene]

Well?! What do you think? Eeee! I mean, ‘cough’, questions? Comments? Yes, it does seem to be a book that showcases how warped I am. Or at least “welcome to my nightmares.” Geesh. I have a lot of murderous nightmares. Had one the other day. Actually too disgusting to talk about. Yup. Hate that.

Hey, I haven’t flipped out yet in here. I think it was the text box that was making me crazy. Wow. Internet feng shui is a real thing….. Bwahahahaa. I mean. You know. Simple is better. That’s what I mean. Even if I sound more like a crazy maniac on my own computer than elsewhere. Whatever.

I was gonna link to a song I’ve been liking on the radio lately. It’s a girly pop song. Okay, here it is: Link. I’d never seen that video before. She may be too pretty. Anyway. Yes, I know it’s soooo embarrassing that I like girly pop songs. I have whole mixed tapes called “Girl Music”. Lame! But but but…. it can’t be helped! I want to like deep meaningful independent music, but… if they coat a song with sugar and give it a nice catchy tune, apparently I will listen to it. Wow. I walked into work once and someone said, “What music were you blasting in your car?!” “Michelle Branch.” Did I hear a snicker?!!!! I don’t know. Let’s embarrass me more, what else am I into?

There, I picked up the pens from the floor now. Well, most of them. Some of them fell behind the scanner table. They’re dead to me now! Mostly because I can’t reach them. And they aren’t very good pens anyway. Cheap!

Now I feel bad for insulting girly pop songs. Sorry, girly pop songs! I couldn’t think of another thing to embarrass myself about. Briefly I was sure there was something. It’s just funny how not gothy that is. And yet I have a gothy photo. Well, not here anymore. Just on MySpace and Twitter and such. Why am I talking so long? It is waaaaay too comfy in this text box. I’m gonna copy and paste this into the bright world and see how I feel about it then. Let the spellchecker do its magic. Then release the blog entry into the wild, as it should be. “Borrnn freeee……!” Okay, lame!

I always worry I’m insulting someone somewhere. Now the makers of “Born Free.” Sheesh! Or insulting the people who wear gothy make-up. Which is lovely! Keep it up! I just don’t think it’s for me. Hmm. Which I knew, and have never worn it in the land of reality. Though I was a weird new waver chick with red hair and a tail and purple mascara. (Yes, purple again!) I also had teal mascara, and blue! God, that’s embarrassing! I knew there was something else! I have pictures. No I do not!!!! Hehe. And apparently, now that I’ve Googled, I was not so much into new wave music as a teen. I was into…. ummm…. ‘cough’… girly pop! I have to stop coughing in this entry. I’m going to get a sore throat. Geez!

Wow, this entry is only 8kb long. Or whatever. I don’t know if that’s huge or not. Just another text box to learn. Is that 8,000 characters? Bytes. Whatever. Quit geeking out! Oh, that was directed at me, not you.

And now here I am having a hard time letting go. Hmm. It’s nice in here. Quiet.

But I have to go. I have to eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, work, etc. Okay, I’m going. Let’s see if this entry makes it to the blog unscathed…. Later.

Out of pure boredom I discovered a person can eat popcorn like a frog cuz it sticks to your tongue, but you probably shouldn’t do that with a shared bowl of popcorn cuz that would be gross. Or impolite, whatever.

I just needed a blog entry title. Whatever!

I made the text box bigger. Woohoo! I realized I’m in the mood for a blog entry today cuz…. look at my Twitter feed. Somewhere to the right –>

I’ve been babbling like a maniac all day. I really only get to babble on the weekends. Not much time during the week. All the fun websites are blocked from my work computer! They are afraid we will use up all the bandwidth in the network downloading big files. Which we apparently all used to do. I used to use You Tube as a radio before I had one at work…. tee hee hee. Oops.

Okay. Man, I’m full of popcorn. Again. I re-read my last entry and it was more full of chaos than usual. Sooooo. I wanted to explain myself! About old movies. Ummm. What I meant was…. I realize that old movie dialogue is still all toned down or ramped up or simplified or stylized or chosen precisely. BUT what they thought was cool in dialogue in the past says a lot about that time period, you see? And also the common words and phrases that they took for granted and threw in there anyway. I can’t think of an example, but I love quirky old movie dialogue. Liiiike, if someone said, “Have you a quarter?” I don’t know!

Unrelated to the coolness of old movie dialogue and it’s quirky specific time period-ness, I found some cool dialogue in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie that whipped by too fast to remember. Putting the DVD back in! Okay, I found it. It’s much less awesome out of context, but when watching it, it’s pretty darn cool. “If scandal is to your taste, Miss Mackay, I shall give you a feast!” Well, that made me sit up and take notice. The dialogue is very writerly. Eee!

Dialogue is my favorite thing to write in a book. I hate describing things. But I love writing the dialogue. You know what this means, don’t you? I should be writing scripts! But Hollywood is too unpredictable. There’s no way my writing would go from the computer screen to the big (or small) screen intact. Too many influences along the way. I’d rather say it my way. Give it a short journey. From my computer screen to your computer screen. Less chance of it getting screwed up!

Why am I talking about writing? Cuz it’s an editing day. Oop, I forgot to save the day’s editing. I burn it to the same disc after every editing session. Seems to work. I have no floppy disc drive now. Well, the new machine has one. But it has sort of become my foot rest. Evil! Blasphemous! I just have nowhere else to put it right now. Is it weird that I’m gonna take the Lysol wipes to it to get the “foot germs” off it? I can never tell. I’m OCD, but when other people are grossed out by something I’m always surprised. “Oh, there are things that gross you out then?” Rude, I know! But but but… a quick rinsing in the sink is not a hand washing! Don’t you hate it when you hear the toilet flush and immediately someone comes out of the bathroom still tucking in their shirt? Grosssss! Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me today. It’s the new text box. It makes me strangely confessional. Ooo, this is like a mini confessional. Intriguing.

Don’t know why that reminded me, but I saw Nathan Fillion in PG Porn. Sooo funny. Oh dear God.

Okay, this text box is freaking me out. It’s making my blog entries different! Stupider. It’s like that superstition of not being able to win at cards with an old deck. Or a new deck? Whatever. The other day my mother told me she had to buy a new deck of cards cuz she couldn’t win at solitaire anymore, but now she can again… WHAT???! She says, “You know. Cuz you can’t win with an old deck.” What???!

Argh. That’s so creepy. That my blog entries are turning out differently. It’s like I feng shui-ed my site and now the chi is different or something…..? Hate it! Hate change! Must rebel! Noooooo, I have to stay here. I will just have to learn the new weird energy of this box. You know what? It’s like how I can’t write song lyrics, but I can write poetry. ??? It’s because it’s like people are watching with the song lyrics. With the poetry, nobody’s gonna read that. So, I’m pretty much alone. Heh. Now it’s like people are watching because…. there are all these links all over this page to go visit whatever, and it saves my drafts every 5 seconds, and it’s pretty much like I’m not alone here. It’s creepy.

Okay, that was the craziest paragraph ever. Did I just tell the world that my blog is haunted??!!

That’s it, it’s time to go watch more How I Met Your Mother. Gah! Cuz I got them in the mail finally. My DVDs. I can’t even form a full sentence anymore. Dammit!

Okay, I guess that’s all I had to say today. Don’t know how long this will be. That’s one of the quirky “problems” with this text box. I’m gonna have to do a ritual smudging with sage in here. “You remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?” “Yes, but there isn’t always time…” -Friends. Heh. Dammit, enough with the spooky box! Adios, amigos!

You must think I am so off my fruit loops….. Damn. Later!