Is it really Friday?

Sometimes I don't believe it when the week is finally over. I'd celebrate, but I'm still suspicious that I'm in the middle of a 35 day week. You know? You ever feel that way?

Someone asked me my name the other day and I couldn't remember. I was like, "Uhh..... Chris." I knew I knew it! Duhhh. And I thought, "Wow. My brain is fried." But why? All I do is sit at a computer all day and type, "Addendum added. Previous notes added to this document were scanned as page 3." "All your documents are belongs to us." Okay, that last part I made up. Okay the first part I made up too. I only have to type that once a day. Maybe. "'Like to crush. Crush now?'" - Spike/Buffy. See what I did there? That is called fueling the fire. The most searched for phrase in my site stats is "Buffy and Spike". There was one month where I actually won the search phrase contest in my stats. My name was the number one search. Ah, but Buffy and Spike have taken over again. What can you do? That's what I get for putting them half naked in a video. Whoops. But it's a good video! I like it. I wonder if I put it on You Tube if they would ask me politely, in a ferocious way, to take it down. Copyright. You know. Maybe not. Fan videos do help promote a show. And music. Hmm....

I decided I'd better edit Fugue now. You may have no idea what I'm talking about if you haven't read me twittering/fretting about it. See, I have to update my blog already and link to my Twitter page. Yes, I still mean the design update, not the add an entry kind of update. I'm doing that now! Hurray! Seriously, I have been craving a good babble.

But anyway, this weekend I will try to finish the new blog. And THEN, instead of starting my new book (writing it), I will edit the one I just typed and put it out there in the world already. YEAH. It's about time. It just needs to be done. Plus the book I'm about to write is like War and Peace it's so huge. It's actually only the size of a normal novel, which in my world is HUGE, cuz I write only novellas really. Hmph. Anyway, it would take months, MONTHS, and I can't have that right now. I need some closure. Must... finish.... book.

I freaked out cuz when I was typing it, some of the sentences were so bad.... I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me. MUCH more than I anticipated. And I think of myself as a good writer, yet I found crap like this in my novel: "She went outside to the mailbox, outside, which is where she went." Hee. Not that exact sentence, but very similar ones. It's like I forgot what I was saying in the middle and thought, "Did I say that already? Ah, I'll add it on now..." Pffp! Cuz I was writing so fast I didn't give a crap about how it sounded. Just, "Make sure you say she's outside! Make sure you say that's where she was! Okay!" Lord.

Let's talk about Supernatural! It's the only show I'm watching on the TV this year. I like it. It's good. I like the writing. Very clever how they got Dean out of Hell, and they did actually explain it right away. Excellent. Adds a whole new dimension to the show. Somewhat literally. I love it! I will keep watching. I watched the first episode of Smallville this season and decided to wait for the DVD. The whole episode I'm like, "So where IS Lex? Let's get this party started!" Hee. Whatever. He's more boring since he went completely evil, but still intriguing. How can you have a hero with no villain? The new "villains" are not working for me. I also miss Lionel. Not that I wouldn't watch the show just for Clark and Chloe and Jimmy and Lois. I would. If they had good stuff happen and stopped being so convoluted with the storylines. Where are Chloe's powers now? I can never remember what is going on! Argh! Plus, you can't kill Clark over and over and have it actually mean something. We know he doesn't die. We know he becomes a reporter and puts on the Superman suit someday. Learns to fly, that sort of thing. We already know he doesn't die! So, that's not a very good bluff. Pfft. I'm sure I will enjoy it all a year from now when I can watch it obsessively in 3 days 'til my head is spinning. Yeesh. But I just don't have the time now.

New topic. I've been getting these telemarketing calls lately, messages on my machine, where they go, "Could I speak to Christine Slusser, please?.... Hello?.... Hello?...." And they sound really annoyed like I'm being rude, then they hang up. Duhhhh. I know their little machines have a delay and don't hear my answering machine message, but you'd think they would all know this by now. That it would happen to them all day long with people's answering machines. Durrr. It's kind of funny.

I need a haircut. It's too long. It's at that stage where it starts to annoy me. So are my fingernails. I have to turn my thumbs sideways at work to hit the keys. I don't type properly at work. I'm surprised I remember how when I get home. Yeesh.

No yoga today. I need a break. I should order some spearmint tea. Totally not related. But yummy. And good for many things. Stomachaches, for example.

A dust bunny rolled by like a tumbleweed just now.

I'm lying. I totally made that up. You see what happens when you bore me? Oops. You didn't bore me! Don't go away mad! Just go away. Hehe. No, wait! Ohhh, I have problems.

Hey, this text box is purple. ! Hey, so is the page around it. No wonder I can't pry myself away from Greymatter! Geez! It's mind control! Very clever, Greymatter. Very clever.

I ordered 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother, but they won't ship it until season 3 is released. Damn. It's like torture. I need some more funny. I'm about to edit a murderous novel. Though, editing it is nowhere near as traumatic as writing it to begin with. THAT was bizarre. Oh, yeah, I remember now. That WAS bizarre. Ffwwhp!

I woke up the other day and hallucinated plastic spoons and forks all over the wall by my bed. Hmm. The universe is mad at me for not recycling. Or my subconscious is. Whatever. (No drugs were involved in the making of this hallucination. Any resemblance to any spoons or forks living or dead is purely coincidental.)

IIIII must go. Gotta do that freakin' laundry thing. Then at some point I think I get to sleep! Yaaaaay!!!!!

Later.~

Chris on 09.26.08 @ 07:16 pm [link]

Fugue

The book is called Fugue. Just to whet your appetite. I have 7 chapters typed. Nine to go, I guess. Such a math whiz. Siiiiggghhhhhh...... it's a lot like...... nevermind. Maybe it's not as much like that as I thought. We shall see.

I have a huge headache. That's why I'm not typing the novel right now. I typed 2 chapters today. I think I only got 1 done during the week. Hmm.

I just ordered coupons for 2 digital/analog TV converters. Yup. I forgot to do that months ago. Oops. Oh well. Apparently our local stations stop being analog in November. I thought I had 'til February. Nope. Darn it.

Week before last I had this weird pain in my wrist and the back of my head. Same kind of pain. I tried not taking this vitamin and that mineral, etc. Thinking I had overloaded. Nothing worked. Then I decided maybe it was a virus and started taking echinacea, garlic and vitamin C. Within hours I felt better. And within a day the wrist pain was gone, but the head pain was just less. I STILL feel the head pain sometimes. I know, badness. Hmm. I think I'm eating too much protein. Probably. In my avoidance of excess carbs. Bah.

I swear I have a food hangover. I had pizza last night. I think it's been a while since I had dairy. Now I have a headache. Woohoo. Plthljllp.

Fugue is similar to, but not at all like, Dollhouse. From the sounds of it. The new Joss Whedon show. I can't remember if it was partly inspired by the basic plot of that show or not. I do know I wanted to write it really quickly before I saw Dollhouse, so I wouldn't be influenced by the show. And wouldn't accidentally make it too same-y. So, there it is. And the novel should be out and about this fall, instead of next. Cuz I didn't write as many novels this summer as I intended to. See? I guess it was a good experiment, though. Seeing how quickly I could write books. Yesssss.

I had a dream last night that I met a little girl who was dressed like a homeless lady, and wandering the streets. Her parents had died, or gone crazy, or gone to prison or something, and she was sent off to live with her grandmother, who was senile and forgot she existed. So she just wandered off and lived on the streets. And then I decided to adopt her. Awwww. She was very sweet and free spirited and kind of worldly-wise. It was so a Disney movie in the making. Pfft. Sweeet! Anyway.

That beats dreaming of murder, does it not? Except the girl's parents may have killed each other. I can't remember that part. Hmm.

I would like 2 kids, thank you for asking. Boys, girls, whatever. With a madly-in-love-with boyfriend/husband person, a house, a dog, a writing career. And maybe the tiniest bit of traveling. And some possible homeschooling, no "job", except to write and publish books myself, and..... occasional chocolate. I figure every once in a while you just have to make a list of what you want and send it out there to the universe. There you go, universe. And a piece of pie. Chocolate cream pie...... yum! You know, as a cherry on top of the life. I need to cook more...

I'm thisclose to making lasagna from a box. Meatless. But not dairyless. So, I should watch it! I need to let my headache go away first at least. Sheesh. Hey, next week is my birthday. Hurray. Except for the getting older part. It makes me all moony about kids. Grr.

Why can't I carve more time out of my day? I know it's because I honestly need time every day to vegetate and not do anything meaningful or important. But... man, that sucks. 20,000 words. Why can't they type themselves? I get all antsy when I'm preparing a book for publication. What if it tanks? How can it tank? It's free. Oh, it's free by the way. Heh. Duurrrr.... Have I mentioned?

You may have noticed the blog has not been updated yet. Laziness. Too busy vegetating. The only way I can get myself to exercise is to let myself vegetate for the rest of the day. And I need to exercise! Bah. And by "update", I mean the design of it.

And you know what? My typing skills and my handwriting suck. So this typing up of a book I hand wrote in a notebook is pretty torturous. There are words I'm not even sure what they are, so I hope I got them right. Geesh. I type half a page, and then I go back and correct my horrendous typos. It's a slow process. But typing in here is fine. Cuz I'm not in a hurry. When I'm typing my book I'm actually trying to rush ahead to see what happens next. Cuz I can't remember, even though I just wrote it a few months ago. Then my fingers trip over themselves and typos galore. Pfft! Grr.

And there are ants all over the place in here. "And my diamond shoes are too tight!" -Chandler/Friends. I love that quote. I use it often! And I'm always tired. Baaaahhhh humbug.

A wee excerpt from Fugue:

"This isn't a good time for you to wake up," Zane says.

"Why?" Rachel asks, aware that the last time they sped along a road there was an accident.

"Because I'm about to do one of those things you don't like," Zane said. Her voice was cold as usual, but this time there was an edge of emotion under it. Anger? Fear?


And with typos! This is from before I fixed it:

"This isn't a good time for you to wak eup," Zane says.

"Why?" RAchel asks, aware that the last tiem they sped along a road there weas an accident.

"Becasue I"lm aobut to do one of those things you don't like," Zaned said. Her ovice was cold as usual, but this tiem there was a n edge of emotion uneder it. Anger? Fear?

You see what I'm saying! Bluuurrrgh! Okay then. Where is that pie? I mean lasagna! I mean... oatmeal.

That's a smiley face called "plain". It's pretty moody for plain. Ha! I need ice cream. Headache! Remember the headache! Geez! Vegan hot dog with toast? Maybe....

Black bean, hashbrown, green bean, vegan white sauce, casserole. I'm thinking of making that. And high protein blueberry muffins. Except I forgot to buy the blueberries. Rats!

Anyway. Why can't there be two of me? One of me to cook and one of me to go about the rest of my day? Because then I'd be a twin, and one of us would have to leave to go find her own identity and learn to rock climb and sky dive and go to Europe. FINE.

Okay, perhaps it is time to, you know, go have that oatmeal. Sheesh.

Later. ~

Chris on 09.13.08 @ 05:56 pm [link]

Human Interaction

Had enough of it. This week. Actually dogs have annoyed me more than people this week. They are soooo.... needy or something. They remind me why I don't ever want to have children while I have a full time job. EVER. The alarm goes off at 5:30 one morning and one of them puts his paws up on the bed, "Yay! Let's play! Time to go outside!" And I said, "NO." He backed away, "Oh. Sorry," and went to play in the living room. Yeesh. Niiiiice dog sitter.

I throw the ball with them. We have our kicks. But.... damn I hate being responsible. It sucks rocks. Bluck. I have too much to do! I thought up a fascinating new soap opera story in my head. Last weekend. I was supposed to come up with the outline for a novella to sell to Harlequin. But then I thought, "Screw it!" And I wrote notes for an online soap instead. For me. And one day possibly you. I read the Harlequin message boards and apparently most people get their stories rejected, and they have to wait 3-4 months before that even happens. But I just want a new car, man! New to me, anyway. Newer car. Gah.

I was gonna sell out just a little bit. It was gonna be a paranormal story. About a werewolf and a redheaded witch. Heh. It was completely different than Willow and Oz! And then I realized maybe she shouldn't have red hair. Okay! Light brown. Whatever. Oh well. That may be written someday. If I am ever in the mood for a plain and simple romance. They insist that the heroes be all brawny and strong and beefy or something. These aren't the words they use. But what if a person isn't attracted to that type? I like the cute nerdy type. Like Will in my last book. Geeky cute. SMART. Anyway. I also like clean cut types. None of this rippling muscles and long mane of hair crap. Bleck. Okay. Now you know my type. Yikes! And my untype. Hahaha.

Spelling out my laughter. Not good. No, it's not good! I am indeed hysterical. As in crazy. As in too busy to think straight. Today I think I did so many things I couldn't list or remember them all. But that would bore you anyway. I had to contact AAA about my membership card that never arrived. They are sending me a new one. But my question is, where is the old one? Is there some strange person out there with my card getting roadside assistance in my name? Is there???!!!! Geez!

Someone gave me cash for babysitting her dogs, that's right I charge for that! Anyway, my bank is only open when I am at work. But there's a bank in the grocery store open later that I have an account at. So I deposited it there, then went to check my balance online. They canceled my online access because my account was "dormant". So, I had to call their toll free number and talk to a human and get my balance. Then I wrote myself a check from myself and deposited it in the night deposit box at my bank that I actually use. All because I didn't want to take time off work to go to the bank. I can't use cash for much. Just groceries. Even at the gas station they make you prepay. Which pretty much means debit or credit card, yes? GAH. So, I had to get it into imaginary electronic form. You understand. Imaginary. Pfft.

Little dog vomited twice before work yesterday. And I had to quick clean it up so they wouldn't walk through it all day while I was at work. And I think he only vomited because I closed the doggie door at night. And he couldn't get out to pee. But I used to leave the doggie door open and then the neighbor across the street's big sheep dog came right in and started tossing the little puppy around. Kicked the little booger right off the front porch. I guess the sheep dog is a she. Whatever. But it scared the piss out of me to see some big creature suddenly lumbering down the hallway. Holy shit! No more of that! Anyway. See how I'd make a mean dog-mom? Yeah....

They are probably missing me right now and barking like crazy. I came home to my own apartment to write in the blog. Didn't want to log in at my mom's. What if she somehow gets my password and comes in here and attempts to imitate me???!!! Hey, I have my weird paranoias. More likely she would just accidentally futz with my settings. Whateva. That's annoying too.

Sigh. I decided not to watch TV this year. Ha! Or most of it. I have to watch Smallville to see if they FINALLY get the Clark and Chloe romance going right. And I have to watch Supernatural to see how Dean gets out of Hell, even though from the sound of it they don't explain it right away. Whatever. Everything else I can rent someday. But I want to get some writing done. If I had cable - with CBS - I would have to watch How I Met Your Mother too. But I don't, so I can't, so I won't.

I can't watch Dollhouse for that reason too. So, I hope Fox puts it online. Hahahah. 'Cough.' Or I will just have to buy it on DVD. That's right, I said buy! I'm gonna buy HIMYM. Let's call it that. I just made that up. It's never been called that before by anyone anywhere. Score!

Hee hee. I'm not even toooo sleep deprived. Just a tad. I watched Dr. Horrible yesterday at my mother's with no hurky jerkiness. She has a super fast connection. I was setting up her computer a while ago and I said, "You just downloaded a 20 megabyte file in 19 seconds. I hate you." Her: "Oh, is that good?" Me: "YES." Her: "Oh. What's a megabyte?" Something like that. Why do people who are indifferent to the Internet always have the best connections to it????!!!!! GAAHHHHH!

Phew! Okay. Back to reality. Geesh. "Right! Freeze Ray." -Dr. Horrible. So obsessed. So obsessed.

I ate popcorn for dinner last night! And soy jerky. It's like Tourette's now. I'm just shouting out random things involuntarily. I've been trying to lose weight, but I think the dog stress is getting to me. My pants were really tight today. There may have been some M&M eating incidents in the past week. Or similar. One may have been a cake eating incident. What can I tell ya? Stresssss.....! Woohoo!!!! It's Friday. I'm a little happy.

I should probably get back to those evil barking twins. They really are cute. Surrrre they are. They are! When they are well behaved and not barking or puking or peeing inside the house or jumping up on me or biting me or licking me (yes, I find that gross, I can't help it!) or throwing a grimy tennis ball in my lap - I created two monsters - or tracking mud everywhere or doing the thing where one of them goes outside and one of them stays inside so they can howl at each other about how much it sucks to be apart. ?? What the hell is that about?

But I digress. I gots ta go! Later.

Chris on 08.29.08 @ 11:39 pm [link]

Valerian

I know it's only been two days since I posted last, but I forgot some things I wanted to say and I'm bored and less bitchy now, so here I am.

I took Valerian to help me sleep in because I went to bed so late. But then I only got 5 hours of sleep and then got up and went to go get the oil changed in my car. So, I still had some Valerian in my system. Which I didn't realize until I started driving and drove right in front of another car and they honked at me. And I thought, "Oh, well." Then wondered why I had such a cavalier attitude, then realized it was Valerian. Then realized I couldn't care less cuz I was all hopped up on Valerian. I was giggly at work the other day and that was also a day when I had taken Valerian the night before to sleep. DAMN. It doesn't feel like anything to be "on" it. Until you find yourself giggling too much or driving like a maniac and you wonder why. I am very laid back right now.

I woke up this morning (too early of course) and laid there and started laughing cuz my new "web series" was writing itself in my head some more. I sat there in bed and wrote 3 pages of it. DAMN. It just keeps going. I love it! It makes me laugh like a crazy maniac. I don't know if I will ever have it produced or anything, but I may as well write it down now, quick while I still work in medical records and can still remember what's funny about it. Tee hee hee. I guess it's good for the soul to write some occasional funny in between your dark dark murderous novels. Yeeks. YES, it is good for the soul. DAMN, I say again!

Okay. The other day I cleaned my entire shower with a toothbrush. Yup. It was the only way to get between the tiles. Never put tile... anywhere! Not if you yourself will have to clean it. Oh, I don't know. Nothing but a toothbrush seems to do the trick. It took at least an hour. I had to clean the house before I asked the apt. manager to fix the faucets, see. GEEZ. Anyway. It was strangely satisfying. Cuz I'm obsessive compulsive. Eee! Yeah, too much of the wrong kind of fun. Yup.

So. Got the oil changed today and they were extra nice. Held the door open for me. Explained everything to me. La la la. What's up? Then they broke my seatbelt. It still works as a seatbelt, I just have to crawl under it now. Not cool! It's an automatic one. I don't know how they fucked it up. But I'm too Valerian mellow to care. I was hoping it would straighten itself out on its own. Sometimes it does. Ya never know....

OH. I got a new computer. A hand-me-down computer, actually. From my sister. And so far, I know this: It has a Pentium III processor and my computer has a Celeron. YEAH. It has a 9 GB hard drive. ???? Mine has 33 GB. Mine has a CD burner. New kid on the block does not. Soooo... I'm gonna create a Frankenstein monster out of the two computers. Put my hard drive and CD burner and possibly some of my RAM into the new hand-me-down computer. Whoop! Make a super computer. One that may actually play my iTunes videos....

Anyway! But that will take careful thought. And time. And right now I am busy trying to figure out how to set up my Wordpress blog. Geez. Every page has to be set up separately. I mean the templates or whatever they are even called. Theme files. Whatever. TIME. I got the main page. Hey, I bet it's there to look at. Won't be too exciting, though, so I won't link to it. Tee!

I was thinking of getting a Twitter account. But I don't know if I can have short thoughts. What? You know. Whatever.

Hey, no nightmares lately. Last night I suddenly got into Fiona Apple's When the Pawn album again. Wish I could waste gas and drive all over the outskirts of town at night singing it. But no. But there's so much traffic lately at night anyway, you really can't belt out Fiona songs like you used to be able to. Heh. Even thought of doing some You Tube karaoke of Fiona songs. Not with a visual of me however. Just the audio. And maybe some scenes from your favorite BUFFY. Hee. But first I must buy a laptop to take with me to a big empty parking lot at midnight to record myself belting out the tunes. A cappella. Cuz I realized I could take my little boom box, but then how would I get that recording on the web? Blast it into my computer microphone? No no. Someday you may hear me singing "Paper Bag" and "Love Ridden". And you will not laugh at me!

Whatever. Sigh. Valerian.

My mother is convinced the deer that attacked her was too huge to be of this Earth. "I think it was a Celestial Deer." Wracking my brain to see if I've ever heard of such a deer.

"Did you make that up?"

"Yes."

Pfft. Shhhhh!!!! Don't tell her I told you that!

Speaking of... nothing that we were speaking of, I find it impossible to make money from Amazon unless I hardcode the links. What? Why? It's so much harder that way! That's why. Sorry, just pondering. Yup. Gotta find a way to make a living from writing. From free writing. Hehehe. DUMB. No no, not dumb. Just... different. Or totally the way to go! I haven't decided. No, it is the way to go. Better to have the stories out there than not. But better still to be able to quit the day job and write more stories and perhaps a web series someday.... Weeeeee!!!!!! And, you know, sing Fiona Apple songs on You Tube that I recorded on my laptop that I don't have but will someday. Actually I may do that anyway. Buy a cheap refurbished one. Hmm.... Even for typing up my novels, once again in my comfy chair. Where they were written.

Speaking of my comfy chair, I am seriously thinking about throwing it in the dumpster. It's a piece of crap. Sorry, comfy chair. Months ago, possibly a year, I broke some springs in it and now it's all uneven and weird. And it was old and scary to begin with. Yeeks. I need a new chair. Or I may dump that one and just drag the couch over to where it was. The old hand-me-down couch that I may discover has broken springs of its own when I unbury it. I use it for storage. I have it hidden behind my bookshelves. I know! Not a people friendly apartment. But book and DVD friendly!

Okay, I babbled WAY more than I intended to. Which is exactly why I don't need a Twitter account. I would not do well with that. It would cut me off all the time.

Wow, there's another text box here! For the "More" part of the entry. Hee. Oops! Anywhatever. I'd better go. I have to eat dinner, find my unlabeled Fiona tape (from a store bought copy of the CD that I have - chill!), and.... I forgot the third thing. Because I have ADD. And Valerian.

Later!

P.S. Maybe there was no third thing.... I think I counted dinner twice. Okay, whatever. Yawning now... Later again!

Chris on 08.09.08 @ 07:00 pm [link]