Cold

The heat is off in my apartment. I think all over the building. And it's 35 degrees outside at the moment, and it's been getting steadily colder in here. Yesterday when I woke up it was 65 degrees in here. This morning it was 60. Yesterday I woke up after the manager's office closes, plus they always fix it without my input. A building full of people complaining, I guess. This has happened twice before. Both this year, I think. And today is Saturday. Manager's office not open at all. I will leave a note on my way out tonight. But other people must have already done the same. Do we really have to wait 'til Monday to get heat????!!!!

Burrrr. I can barely think of anything else but how cold it is. I just finished watching season 7 of Buffy and seasons 2, 3, and 4 of Angel. How bizarre did Angel get in the 4th season????!!!!! Oh my God! I couldn't stop watching even though I was horrified. That's either brilliant storytelling or horrible storytelling. Wow! It became very soap opera-y. Extremely. Sorta trashy. I looooooove Cordelia. I can't believe what they did to that character. Plus she wasn't chipper and bitchy anymore and that bothered me. I missed that. I also miss her apartment and her ghost. Poor Cordelia!

Ooo, it sounds like someone just came in and went into that room where the heater stuff is. Maybe I'm just delusional. I've tried to call the manager on the weekend. He has this service that answers and they decide whether or not it's an emergency. And whatever I called for they decided wasn't an emergency. Grrrr. Bugs, probably. Little flying ants everywhere. Or BIG flying ants everywhere. Icky! I wonder if this would be considered an emergency. Buurrrrrrrrrr. And I wonder if his "service" is just his daughter answering the phone and saying she has no idea where he is. Heh. She said she was his answering service! God, it's cold!

The other day I woke up and my front door was wide open. They were carpeting the hallway of the building and needed to put the carpet just inside everyone's doorways. But there was no warning, no note that this would happen. I'm glad I don't secretly have a cat. It would have escaped. Anyway, it pissed me off. Quietly. I fumed. Cuz I sleep in the day and anyone can just wander in and go attack me. Grrr! I got up and sat in my living room and probably looked sleep deprived and very pissed. The carpet guy shut my door soon after that, "I guess we don't need this one open anymore." You're damn right! Anyway, I decided to buy some jingle bells or something to hang on the doorknob like they do in small shops, so I know when someone opens the door. It will wake me up and I can come out to the living room and "guard" my stuff and me until they close it. It's not as safe to sleep in the daytime as I would have thought. Cuz people are very casual about leaving your door open. No one was even in the hall when I got up. They were upstairs. So, welcome, Big Cruel World, to my little unguarded home. !!!!

OOoooooo!!!!!!! The heater is making that ticking bouncing sound it makes when it's on and working. Wooohoooo!!!!!!!! I guess I was right about the person in the hall. Yes!!!!!!!!! Cuz my hands are cold. Last night I wrapped myself in sweats and a blanket and watched TV. Too cold to sit around and type. But now it will warm up. And I will probably still just go watch TV. Yes! The heater feels warm. I just put my foot on it. Excellent.

Now I have to switch gears and talk about the formerly gloomy subject of my sick Grandma. She died just 2 1/2 hours after my last entry. WOW. I suppose it was a normal death, but I've never experienced anything like that. There was a roomful of people praying and crying and she died quietly and I barely made it in the door before she died. I was dawdling. Taking my time to parallel park. I was later than I said I'd be anyway. Lalala, I walk in the door, OH, it's happening NOW. But I didn't understand how - woa! One of my lightbulbs just popped. Normally I'd think it's just a lightbulb. But now I'm thinking, "Grandma, I don't need your commentary!" In a nice way. Or in a "Don't scare me with bursting lights!" kind of way. Eeeee. Anyway, I thought it was a happy thing. Her death. Cuz she had a good death. Peaceful, family around. Nice. And she didn't have to be sick for a long time. And now she's not sick at all. I was strangely unemotional. Or I was emotional, but not to the point of tears. Which is very weird. I got home and thought, "Okay, you're alone now. Go ahead and cry." But no tears came. Wow. I thought maybe I was just saving them, but nope. Well, I know she's safe and healthy and happy now, what's so sad about that? And she's the lucky one of us. My great aunt kept saying that too. It's true! She's done with the hard work of life. She's relaxing at the end of a long hard day. LUCKY. But I have to keep struggling along. And, yes, I will miss her, but I will see her again someday. So, all in all, not soooo sad. I used to think she'd be hanging around her family after she died, but I get the feeling she's off exploring Heaven, cuz she's very adventurous. Which annoys me. Like, "You can't even sit still when you're dead?!" But she can probably run and jump now. Or swirl or whatever it is that spirits do. And here I wanted another spirit guide to hang out with me. But I probably have enough of those. Guardian angels, whatever you want to call them.

I'm HUNGRY. I am writing this before breakfast. And my hands are still cold. Go, heater, go!!!! It still feels warm on my foot, but I want it to hurry. ! Buurrrrrrr. Well, I'm gonna go eat breakfast and make business plans. For my undisclosed secret websites. I'd like to go back to sleep.... but no no! I will stay awake. I have to call a friend of mine. Then call another friend of mine. I'm sure there's something I've forgotten to do that's bugging me, but I don't know what it is. So maybe I'll do that too. Well, adios, muchachos.

Chris on 11.27.04 @ 04:34 pm [link]

Stripy paint

That would be "stripey" paint. Blahhh. They keep ripping tape outside my door and freaking me out. Ah, they touched my door! They are painting stripes on the wall it seems to me. I smell paint. I smelled paint yesterday, but didn't see any evidence of it out in the hall. Hmmm. Yesterday I thought it might be the smell of my new fabric softener, until I opened the door. The new fabric softener is very overwhelmingly powdery fresh scented and had to be wrapped in two bags, one of them a zip loc, and it STILL fumed up my apartment. So, I took it to my mom's and left in on the dryer. Tee hee. But that's where it was headed anyway.

What a crappy day....! I keep glancing at the answering machine to see if my mother has left me a message because my grandmother is very very sick and is about to die. So, my answering machine has become the answering machine of death, I suppose. The answering machine of doom. Okay, that's over the top. But it's very gloomy.

My tooth hurts. I don't take good enough care of my teeth. Oh, hey, I meant to type up that speech Anya gives in the Buffy episode "The Body" about Joyce. It's so nice and perfect. About death in general. "Joyce will never have any more fruit punch...." That's a great episode. Very depressing, though. But very realistic.

Ummmm... what can I talk about now after I said my grandma's going to die? Not much, huh? Geeez. She's 81, I think. Or 82. I think 81. Lung cancer, emphysema. Don't smoke, kiddies. She smoked for 40 years, and she quit smoking over 20 years ago. 25 years ago? A loooong time ago. After her husband, who smoked a lot, died of a heart attack. Yes, my grandfather, you guessed it! Anyway. I say again, don't smoke! Because it doesn't kill you right away as much as it makes you suffer for many years before you die. Okay, sometimes it kills you right away. By heart attack. Like my good friend's father who died in his 40s. And my grandfather who died in his 50s. I've inhaled a lot of second hand smoke it occurs to me now. Hmmm... And I live in a smoking building. It used to reek of smoke and it probably still does, but I can't smell it anymore. Not a good sign.

Oh, I'm hungry. Maybe I should eat more. Maybe I should let myself be a little bit hungry. Hmm. Maybe I should never weigh myself. Hmm, intriguing. Wow, the dictionary definition of "intriguing" is kind of intriguing. Okay, I mean weird.

I gotta go. Life is all strange and bizarre. Gotta go watch Lost and get my mail and eat some food and take better care of my tooth, all while a feeling of gloom fills the air. Youch. Bye all.

Chris on 11.17.04 @ 04:39 pm [link]

Computer colors

I just got all crazy changing the colors of everything on my computer. Last night before bed. And I was half awake and like a zombie. So that made it even more amazing. I realized I could make everything black! Black background in my folders, etc. And the frame thing of the browser, whatever you would call that. But black was too confusing. There were no little shadows and highlights to make everything look 3D. So, I changed my computer theme to light brown and purple. Whoop! When it highlights things, they are teal! Eeeeeee! I love colors. I'm hyper and tired at once.

I also found the coolest little free gizmo. Metapad. For how small it is, it sure does a lot. I like it better than Notepad. It is mucho awesome. Makes my secret online computer work go faster. And it's easier on my eyes. That's what started this whole changerama. The glaring white background of Notepad was hurting my eyes. I now realize I could've changed all my computer colors to change Notepad, but.... I'd have to customize it if I used the black theme, cuz you know. Too confusing. But I'm glad I searched for a text editor I could change the colors on. Cuz it has more cool features too. Wow, if you're not into software and computer gizmos, this entry is boring the shit out of you. Sorry! Hee hee. Oh, I changed the computer colors cuz the highlight color was sort of blending into the background color I chose for Metapad, so..... yeah. I had to change the computer theme to change the highlight color, cuz you can't change that in Metapad, so there you go. It's a whole long story.... which I have just told you all of. Ha!

In other news, my hair feels clean. No, that wasn't what I was going to say, but I stretched just now and my hair got in the way, and there you have it. Weirdness. Anyway, I don't like how it's getting darker earlier these days. It makes the day seem more serious. Like a stern parent, "Okay, now no more goofing around." Oooooooo.

Damn, my computer just flickered like it might freak out. What did I do????!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!! Maybe it's just the power in the building freaking out. Not that that's better, but at least my computer is healthy.

I have a headache caused probably by lack of calories. I'm still getting plenty of calories, I just thought I'd cut back. But my weight hasn't budged. Do I give it more time or do I just have a mental block about weight loss right now? Maybe I should just sit around and concentrate on not gaining any more weight and leave the weight loss 'til a less stressful time in life. Like after the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. I looooove New Year's. Mostly cuz I can celebrate the fact that Christmas is over. YES! I don't know when I started to hate it so much or why it bothers me so much. There's just something weird about being a grown up at Christmas. Maybe it's because you see the behind the scenes action. The puppet strings. The fake Santas and stories of Santa, and the price tags on everything. And you can't call your sisters "booger eating morons" anymore (hey, one of my sisters made that one up) cuz you're all grown ups now and you've stopped telling the truth about things. Not that I want to call them booger eating morons. But I mean.... when people grow up they stop saying things out loud, but they still think them. And then you can't trust anyone anymore but yourself. And that's why people get married. Cuz they find a person who will tell them the truth about things and then they want to hang onto that person forever. One of my crazy theories about marriage.

Okay, I've gotta go find a tape to record Lost on, even tho I'm going to watch it while I record, and will not likely watch it again before I record over it. It's just one of my many quirks. But in case I miss something I want the option to rewind it later and go, "Oh, that's what she said...." Bahahah!

I'm also gonna eat some dinner (lunch).

Bye bye.

Chris on 11.10.04 @ 06:35 pm [link]

Karma

I am so strange. On Halloween, after I made the Halloween entry in this blog and I am perfectly aware that it is Halloween, someone knocked on my door and scared the crap out of me. I was watching a music video, loudly, and all of a sudden someone bangs on my door. I throw my headphones down and leap up! Who could it be?! What on Earth do they want?! I run to the door and look out the peephole. I see nothing. I start to unlock the deadbolt and then I realize, "Duh. Halloween. I don't have any candy. Damn!" So, I stop unlocking the door and just walk away, thinking, "What is wrong with me??!!" I knew it was Halloween. How dense am I??!! But the thing is, I suppose, no one ever comes to my door on Halloween. In the 5 years I've lived here, that was maybe the 3rd knock on my door I've gotten on Halloween. So, I stopped buying candy a year or two ago. (Normally, I end up eating it myself. ) Anyhoo, I decided to pack up my dinner and go to my mother's to hide out on Halloween. Before I forgot what day it was again and got startled by the door. ! No one comes to her door either. People don't trick or treat as much as they used to here. Anyway, so I go to her house, lalalala, and then I leave. When I get home, I notice goo on my car. Just a vague fleeting thought in my head, "Huh... goo... weird..." Not even totally conscious. But then when I go back out to go to the store later my brain has done the math, "Halloween... egg!" With shells and everything still stuck to the car. I am so not aware of anything. Takes a lot to get into my conscious mind, apparently. Anyway! Trick or treat, see? Could it be the little kids too short to show up in my peephole? Not likely. Even if they were old enough to be that mean, my apartment is number 8 and my parking spot is number 3. But when I went out to get in my car after leaving my mother's, I noticed someone walking down the street. (No street lights, though!) Then I got in my car and he - teenage boy I can see now - runs quickly by my car and down the street. How dense am I if my car was egged while I was IN IT and I didn't notice??!! I didn't hear a thwap or anything. Anyway, so my point being..... karma. Weird, no? I didn't have candy for the kiddies and the Universe threw an egg at my car! Weirdness!!!!! I'm not taking it as a sign from God, though, to help bring rot and destruction to children's teeth and moods. I just thought it was funny.

So, EGG. You wanna know how to get egg off a car? I let it sit for at least two days before I would even deal with it. Then I looked it up online, how to clean egg off a car. And I changed the advice to fit what I wanted to do instead, ha! Okay, here's what I did and it worked. I took a spray bottle and filled it with half vinegar and half warm water (like a half a cup of each), and sprayed it on the egg. Then I let it sit for a few minutes, never letting it dry. Then I took a credit card and scraped the egg off. Then I wiped the egg scrapings off with a washcloth or paper towel. It worked nicely. Except then my hands smelled like vinegar and egg for a while, even after I washed them thoroughly, and it was disgusting. It's kind of a revolting smell. I don't know why. I used to eat eggs. But somehow the vinegar makes it all smell even more eggy. Bleck!

In other news, I tried to fix my mother's computer on Halloween, but for some reason her Internet connection wasn't working then. So, I waited 'til yesterday to work on it again. And she had messed up some of the work I'd done before. With her email program. I fixed it all, and then asked her what she did to her email. "Oh, I messed it up," she said. "Why?" I asked. "Because it wouldn't work." "Okayyy..." ??!! She's a weird woman. (Don't read this, mom, but okay if you want to....) She watched "Fahrenheit 9/11" a few months ago and decided she hated Bush and she would vote for Kerry. She was pretty gung-ho. So last night I asked her who she voted for. She looked all guilty, "Bush." "What? Why?" (I never tried to sway her either way. It was just the movie.) She said she either had a dream or prayed (I forget. I never listen.) and she was told (hell, maybe it was a sermon she heard?) she had to vote for Bush because he's against abortion and gay marriage. So that's what she did. But everyone else she voted for was Democrat. She says she's a Democrat. Okay. Then, she got all super giddy last night when John Kerry won California. I said, "So, you want Kerry to win?" She said, "Yes." "But you voted for Bush?" "Yes." Okayyyyyyy. Isn't there something in the Bible about if you sin in your heart, you are already guilty of the sin? Hehe. Where's my wicked smilie? Way to be conflicted!!!!

Anyway, I was gonna tell you all about how I went to the oil change place and they changed their name again. It changes almost every time I am there. It's very strange. But this time they actually vacuumed the inside of my car and checked my tires. I thought at all oil change places they "pretended" to clean the inside of the car, but actually didn't. But I heard the vacuum this time. Hmm. My tires were all uniformly low. They said it could be the cold weather, and me not driving a lot. But... last time I watched them not fill someone else's tires. Cuz one was almost flat and the guy had to ask about it as he was leaving. And they said, "Uh, yeah, we filled that and while it was sitting here, it got low again." Whatever! Like they would fill an almost flat tire and not mention it. Grr. Anyway, so they are better at things now. Hopefully permanently? Well, there, see, I told ya about the oil change place anyway. Booyah!

What else is going on with me? Nothing much. Just the same laziness problem I was having before. Booooo. I got my new DVD player. I like it better than the last one in most ways. It does more things. And it's more compact. It's cute. And it works so far. I guess I should clean the lens sometimes. I never cleaned the last one. Umm... I got a lot done when I didn't have a DVD player. I'm pretty sure it contributes to my laziness. Cuz it doesn't let me get bored enough to start doing things again. Hmm....! But I can't help it. I want what I want. Not to be bored. But in a fun way. Not in a "I guess I'll wash the dishes" kind of way. You know? Bleck. I could babble forever. It's the boredom. Maybe I'll go do something useful now. Hmm. Arrivederci

Chris on 11.03.04 @ 05:49 pm [link]