Television to eat to

There aren't enough sitcoms on TV. I have nothing to eat to. Cuz you can't eat to a drama. There's the gory dramas that you can't eat to for obvious reasons. Bleck. CSI, ER, Medical Investigation, Crossing Jordan. Then there are the non-disgusting dramas. I mean non-gory. Sorta. Law and Order mostly. Even the sort of lighthearted dramas like Las Vegas. Somehow they all tie your stomach in knots or make you wish you weren't eating food while watching them. Egads.

There are only 3 sitcoms on NBC. What is that about???? Four if you count the cartoony one, which is okay, but not something I make a point of watching. Blurg. Thus, let us dissect the other 3. Scrubs I can't eat to because the humor is too fast moving and sometimes subtle. I have to keep my eyes forward and my feet on the floor to catch everything going on in that one. Joey and Will and Grace I can eat to, though. I can look away from the screen for a moment with those two and not miss anything. Plus I have a rewind button! Anyway.

Comedies untie your stomach knots. That's why they are good to eat to, see. I only have two channels. And ABC has some comedies I like too, but they are all crammed into one or two nights. So, I have nothing to eat to on the other days! I used to keep a Friends DVD in the DVD player so I could just watch 5 minutes of an episode while I eat, and then get back to the computer. (Yes, five minutes, I snarf my food!)

Speaking of the word "snarf", check out www.urbandictionary.com. When I use a word not in a normal dictionary and I still want to doublecheck what it means, I go to Urban Dictionary. Cuz I am that much of a perfectionist. Yowzers.

Anyway, my car got a nice shiny new muffler and exhaust pipe. That all turned out fine. And I actually got 6 hours of sleep that day, in divided doses.

Oh, here's news. I saw a bunch of deer the other day. The Day of the Muffler. I went out to my car to look for receipts and when I was done I looked up and there were 4 deer walking in front of my car. Out for a morning stroll. Out for breakfast, apparently. Munching on grass and whatnot as they went. "What looks good this morning?" So funny. And I thought, "Hello! How did I miss this?" Just because I was looking down at papers, a whole mini-herd of deer can sneak by me?! Pish tosh! (I don't know what that means.) They wandered down the block to the manager's office and chewed on a bush. One of them stopped to watch two girls walk across a street, like, "Ooo, look! People!" Heh. Then they noticed me. They were fine with me when I was right in front of them, but from halfway down the block, nooo. One of them stared me down until I got out of the car and went in the house. Pfft! They really hate being stared at. Well, who wouldn't?

I guess that's all my news for the day. I've been thinking of making a mushy Mulder/Scully video. Which I am never in the mood to do and it may not happen again. But people keep downloading the one crappy MSR vid that I did and I feel I should offer them something better. Cuz that "Not the Red Baron" vid was really more of an experiment. I like it, but I think it's very.... avant-garde. If "avant-garde" means really weird and hard to understand what the heck I was up to. Heehee.

Well I must go. No reason, except I'll run out of imaginary e-paper if I keep talking. Ciao.

Chris on 09.27.04 @ 06:08 pm [link]

The One With The Muffler

The muffler fell off my car today. Again. It's the third time it's happened. Is that in any way normal??!! I've never heard of that happening to anyone I know. I've had the car about.... 8 years? The first time it happened I was driving a car full of people to see Titanic. My sister was a real Titanic maniac at the time. So, this big screechy bump thing happens and she says, "Ignore it! The car still works, right? Let's go!" Ah, that was funny. But the muffler was sort of hanging by a thread (or a bolt, whatever, play along ) and it gave off sparks when I drove cuz it dragged along the ground. Woo. So, we had to all go home and not see a movie that night. Boooo.

The second time the muffler fell off I was at work. I cleaned 3 buildings. I was at the first, no, on my way to the second. And something went kurplunk and I knew it was not good. I turned around and drove back to look at the thing that fell off my car (completely fell off this time). I had no idea what it was, but I was pretty sure it was important. So, I drove back to the first building I'd cleaned and called everyone I could think of. No one was home. Bah! So, I finally called my boss. I figured if he wants me to get my job done tonight, he'll help me. He drove there, we drove to pick up my muffler. He brought a cute little dog with him and asked if I wanted to pet it, and told me his wife was out of town, and said, "You've worked for us for a while now, but we really don't know anything about you. Tell me about yourself." HMMMM. I said I should get back to work. Or something like that. It sounds so much sleazier in retrospect. When I first called him to apply for the job, his wife answered the phone. I asked for him and she said he wasn't there and that she was his wife and asked suspiciously who I was. I told her my name and that I was calling about the job. She said in a much cheerier tone, "Oh, he's here, just a minute." And handed the phone to him and he started talking right away. He was right there. HMMMM. Suspicious much? (A Buffyism. I can't resist.)

Today the muffler fell off as I was pulling away from the curb at my mother's house after doing laundry. I went back inside and said, "My muffler fell off." She gave me a look like, "Yes, and?" I need some help, woman! Durrrr. She went out there and yanked the muffler all the way off the car while I held a little squeeze flashlight. Wooo. So now tomorrow I have to be a daytime person and take my car to the car place to get it fixed, while my head will be screaming desperately for sleep. Yippee.

What a day, what a day. I'm tired already, it's only 4am. I'll take a nap! Here in the middle of the night when most people are sleeping anyway. Ah, conformity.

Must go. I really do mean it. I am taking a nap.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Alisa. Happy Birthday to you too for that future birthday coming up.

Adios, peoples.

Chris on 09.24.04 @ 04:23 am [link]

Ow!

I feel sick. It's been a while, so I may as well be sick. That's not very entertaining. Whatever. And apparently I'm depressed too. I've seen too many people recently. I looooove being by myself. Had me a birthday. Hate those things. I wonder if I'm depressed cuz I'm ancient? Or....? Because I only got 5 hours of sleep and my head hurts?

I got a gift certificate, and I've been obsessing on what to buy. I want to buy something that is exactly the amount of the gift certificate, without wasting any money either way. Bah! But I'll just buy something that's more expensive than it and it'll be like a discount. Hurrah! Still I can't decide what to buy. Book? CD? DVD? I don't want anything at the moment. Or I do but they don't have it. Malarky!!

I haven't scanned any more of my book into the computer. It's like I have a mental block. Like a writer's block, but the book is already written. It's like scanner's block or something. What do I do????!!!! Ahhhh!!!! I balk at putting this thing online. For some reason it feels like I'm more exposed in my fiction than I am in my blog or poetry. Why is that? Cuz it's completely made up. I don't get it. There's a whole bunch of characters who are nothing like me doing things I've never done. Why would I feel squirmy about that? Cuz you'll know I think it's interesting who they are and what they're doing. And maybe in some way that all says a whole lot about me, but I'm not sure what yet, so it makes me nervous. Eh? Maybe.

I need to DETOX or something. Eat some raw vegany foods and drink lots of water and breathe deeply and whatever else. Get nature in balance in my body. That birthday just knocked me flat. Ate cheese. Made me sleepy. I am so out of whack. I knooowwww. And my apartment could use some cleaning too. Oh yes. And maybe that would make me feel healthier too. As long as I don't fill the air with cleaner fumes. Ah, cheers.

It's so weird I was feeling sorry for people who live in my town. Cuz I feel like I don't live in my town. I live on the Internet, in the global community. That's not good. ????!!!! But there are no jobs here and it's a dead end place, and dark and gloomy in the winter. And somehow I escape this? In my head anyway. Now if only I could get my novel online. It's like uploading my soul. No biggee! I don't know why I feel that way about it. The novel isn't even that great. But it can be a bad novel and still have my soul in it. Okay. Wow, being an artist of any kind is so weird.

I must go now. Gotta do everyday day to day things. (Say "day" again....) Adios.

Chris on 09.21.04 @ 03:53 pm [link]

Novel #1

First things first. Thank you for your words, Alisa. I was thinking yesterday's entry was a little basket-casey, but it's good to know someone understands what I was trying to say. And it was nice to wake up today and read your comments.

Now on to the news portion of today's entry. How do I explain this? I decided to type up my first novel onto the computer finally. But then I got lazy and decided to try to find some software that would take scanned pages and turn them into text. So, I searched around and I found a free thing that would do that. I downloaded it and installed it. Then I tried to scan my book and discovered I already had the pro version of that software on my computer. Whoop! It was weird. Apparently, I have things I don't know about. So, that was a very cool discovery, and I spent a... I have no idea how much time, an hour or two or three, scanning the manuscript for my book, which by the way was covered in dust, if that's not a metaphor for something.... Anyway, I have 60 pages of it on my computer now. Too cool! I could never type that much in a day. I am quite happy. This will make it easier to create ebook versions of my poetry books too. Whoop!

I was going to make a music video soon, but I'm still learning how to use my new video making software. It looks cool, but... you never know 'til you use it, eh? I have a bunch of ideas for videos and I'm in the mood to make one again, but then I got all fascinated with this novel stuff. Eeeee!

I have no other news of my own, so I'll just go back to yammering on about Buffy the Vampire Slayer again. It's amusing and entertaining and fun that this happens, but how come Buffy knows words like "oeuvre" and "matricide"? She never goes to class, she's not bookish....? And Xander apparently doesn't do well in school, but he says things like, "Do I deconstruct your segues?" And then Willow, the bookworm brilliant one says stuff like "the thinga-ma-bob thingy". (That Willow one's not a direct quote, but you know what I mean.) And then there are pop culture references that are way before their time. Xander analyzing the dynamics between Captain and Tennille. (I barely know anything about them, and I'm older than the Buffy pals!) And Buffy telling Giles he was "Lost Weekending." I enjoy these little references, I just think it's weird which characters are saying them. Friends used to do the same thing with the pop culture references. It's like the people writing these shows are 10 to 20 years older than their characters and they write themselves into the characters. I'm going to pretend they do it on purpose. That they know it's unrealistic, but they just can't resist telling that joke or making that pun or drawing that parallel. Whatever. I was watching Party of Five once and I had to use a dictionary to understand what two teenagers were saying to each other. And I was much older than them and... bookwormy. (Nothing against teenagers, I just know I didn't know a lot of words when I was one. It takes a lifetime to accumulate a great personal vocabulary...) Do they do it on purpose? I wish one of them would answer me. It's so obvious and weird....

Anyhoo. I have to get away from that mind tangle before it sucks me in. I have no other random things to talk about today. I'm gonna get back to scanning things... and watching things. TV. Hee hee. Lazy. Rhyming... Later.

Chris on 09.18.04 @ 02:58 am [link]

Religion

I woke up in a really good mood today. I was happy, la la la. Then I caught my reflection in the mirror and I had a really depressed look on my face. And I thought, "Well, I thought I was happy...?" Weird! I had an epiphany the other day, and it had a domino effect on all the other aspects of my life. I changed my perspective on many things, and it was cool. But as an after-effect, it has made me very angry. I don't want to go into detail, but here's some good advice: Never change your religion for a guy. WOW. You'll hate yourself later.

And on a similar note, I hate religious intolerance. I hate how different types of Christians think all the other types of Christians are going to Hell because they are not the right specific type of Christian. That's stupid. Because they don't sing the same hymns or have a different communion ceremony, they are going to Hell? HELL? That's asinine. And so petty. Is it really worth HELL? I don't think God is as petty as humans try to pretend He is. I used to be a very devout Christian. And on Sundays, the sermons made God seem mean and fickle and uncaring. But during the week when I spoke to Him in my head He seemed kind and loving and patient. Why do people project bad things onto God? It aggravates me. Christians - not all, but some - won't even tolerate each other, let alone other non-Christian religions. It always angers me. When I stop being a Christian anyway.

So, I won't go into the details of my religion. But I met a great guy a few years ago. We were very close, and he hated my religion. I didn't mind his, except for the fact that it was intolerant of mine. He was a strict type of Christian. He pestered me and prayed for me against my will (don't even get me started on that one), and generally gave me the impression that we could be together forever (he's the forever guy I wrote about before) if I converted to his religion. I read up on it, but I just couldn't do it. I did revert back to being a Christian, though, after much pressure from him. It wasn't good enough, though. I had to be his certain type of Christian. He basically dumped me. Yay! (Seriously, this is a good thing in retrospect.)

But it took me 3 1/2 years to come back to the religion I gave up for him. I guess I was in denial about giving it up for him. I told myself, "Ah, I was gonna switch back to Christianity anyway..." and I suffered quietly for years, until a few days ago when I had my epiphany and realized I wanted to go back to my true religion. The religion that works for me. And thus, I am very happy and very angry at the same time. Voila! Happy to be back, angry I let him do that to me. Grrrrr! And in general, angry at any and all religious intolerance.

So, there you have it. I told myself I would not rant and rave in here, but I guess it's my blog, so I may as well. Where better, right? And while we're on the subject, The Passion of the Christ is apparently a very powerful movie. It made my mother start going to church twice a week and studying the Bible and pop quizzing me about my beliefs. Thanks, Mel Gibson! Way to go! Grrrr.... I don't care if it is a good movie cinematically. It was made for the purpose of propaganda. That aggravates me. 'Seethes quietly for a moment'....

Sorry if my rants offended anyone. I will now end this entry with two ironies. Mel Gibson is in my favorite movie (Mrs. Soffel), and I was named after Jesus Christ (Christine).

I'll be funnier next time, hopefully. Adios.

Chris on 09.17.04 @ 02:44 am [link]

Monday Monday

La la, la la la la. Anyway. I finished my Buffy marathon. I only need to see 3 more seasons now. And I have a new pet peeve. When the person doing audio commentary reveals secrets about future seasons. Grrr! It happened when I listened to the season 1 commentary, so I told myself I wouldn't do that again until I'd seen the whole series. But then I saw the last episode of season 4 and I just HAD to have an explanation for that weirdness!!! So, I listened to the commentary, and sure enough many things were revealed about future episodes that I would REALLY rather not know. One big one in particular that I didn't see coming at all. Grrrrrrr, I say! Grrrrr!!!!! Stop doing that, Joss Whedon!!!!

In other news... I have no other news. I've really been glued to the TV, seriously. It wasn't so bad. But it makes me feel like a slacker. And not just because I was sitting on my butt watching TV. But because look how much work went into making that show, and what have I accomplished lately? Nada! Hmm. It's so Monday-ery today. Bleck.

Does anyone else dislike the character of Riley? Is it just me? He drives me nuts. Maybe he's too normal. I was very happy when Angel beat the crap out of him. Sorry! I love it when there are fights on TV shows or movies. I never in real life find myself getting all happy about a fight, "Fight! Fight! Woooo!!" But somehow, in fiction, it is GREAT. Weeee! Cuz you know it's really just a choreographed dance, with fake blood packets and whatnot. Hee. (Am I a freak?!) I've been thinking of making a music video all about Mulder getting in fist fights with people. X, Krycek, Skinner, whoever else. Ooo! And that fight Faith and Buffy had in Buffy's house, EXCELLENT. That was a good one! Nice choreography!!!

Um, what else? Willow and Tara have an adorable cat. I don't like the whole military/Initiative thing. Not Goth enough. But still had it's good moments. Spike in a box. (Much like Jack in a box.) That was funny. Spike trying to bite Willow and not being able to and her being so nice and trying to comfort him for not being able to kill her and it being a whole mirror of a different sort of bedroom situation. That was hilarious.

You know, I don't let myself visit Buffy websites, cuz I'm afraid I'll read spoilers. I'm waiting 'til I've seen the whole show. And now I have to watch Angel too, I realize. I feel like I've only got half the story. And I kind of miss Cordelia.

It's all about Buffy today. Well, what can I say? That's where my brain is. Hey, I had to polish scratches off one of my discs using toothpaste the other day. That was a close one! I thought I'd have to skip a bunch of episodes!! But I made the disc work and all is fine. Phew! It must have gotten damaged while shipping. One of the discs is always loose when I open up a new DVD set. Hmm. It's too dark in here. I still haven't replaced that light bulb. Poof! (That was me disappearing. No reason. )

Well, I guess I'll go now. I've complained enough for one day. Adios!

P.S. Thanks, Linda!

Chris on 09.13.04 @ 07:41 pm [link]

We interrupt this blog...

Technically speaking, it wouldn't be "obsess much", it would be "obsessive much." Adjective. Not verb. And clearly the answer to "Obsessive much?" would be YES. Whew! Why don't I just go edit yesterday's title and make it all proper and right? Because that wouldn't be a very accurate documentation of me, would it? And it's only a nitpicky - 'cough'obsessive'cough' - thing anyway.

Speaking of my craziness, I've been noticing Sarah Michelle Gellar in seasons 2 and 3 of Buffy has 3 earrings in her right ear and 2 in her left. The opposite of season one. Do you know how maddening this is for an obsessive compulsive person? (That would be me.) I almost pay more attention to that than I do the story, "Wait a minute, one, two, left, right..." And I have to snap myself back to reality. Or fiction. Whatever. Heh.

Thank God it's Friday. The weekend will be a nice change. I'm stir crazy. That SMG is a good actress. I didn't know that. And I only knew Alyson Hannigan from, "This one time at band camp..." Heh. But she's very good too. Funny and sweet as Willow. And quirky in a way you never get to see on TV. Very real and nuanced. Almost as weird as me. Oops, sorry. My crazy face.

You ever see that commercial where that teenage boy starts talking to his foot? I feel that bored. My horoscope today said to go hang out with friends. But that will have to wait 'til tomorrow. Meanwhile, I will sit here pondering what super powers I would have if I was a super hero (heroine'cough') and, uh... counting people's earring holes, I guess.

Sayonara.

Chris on 09.10.04 @ 04:20 pm [link]

Obsess much?

I just watched a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon. Of my own making. I got 3 more seasons' DVDs in the mail. (That's what the UPS man brought me.) So, it's been non-stop every-spare-moment Buffy fun. And that sounds like something Xander would say. Egads! Talk about putting your emotions through the wringer. Death, betrayal, death, betrayal, passion, death, betrayal, death, betrayal. So, of course my dreams every night are filled with characters from that show. Last night I dreamed of me making a Buffy music video. And I thought, "Hey, I finally get to appear in one of my own dreams."

I get obsessive when I find something new I like. I become a story glutton. I must find out what happens next. I am the same way with books. I have to read a book in a few days, cuz I have no patience for waiting to find out what happens next. I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy in five days. I didn't have to work during those five days, though. So, it was my 12 hour a day job to read the books. I read Harry Potter 4 in 4 days and I think Harry Potter 5 in 5 days. If I recall. Obsessive! That's me.

I also have no patience for bad books. Bad writing. And there is so much of it out there. Published. Normally, I don't read new books. I wait 'til a book is at least 20 years old before I read it. That way it has stood the test of time a little bit. So it may not waste my time. It sucks to read through a book and then have the author wimp out at the end. Cuz sometimes a book is good up until that moment, and that's when it becomes a dud. "All's well that ends well." I mean, a writer has to be brave to take the story where it wants to go. And you can always see in a story where they made the decision to play it safe instead. I hate that. It wastes my time! So, why did I read Harry Potter? It's new. Well, you read enough amazing reviews and sometimes you give in and read a current book. My mother also twisted my arm until I read Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. I like them a lot. Wow, this sounds like a lecture.

I guess I'm aggravated because I've never been officially published. Not that I've tried that hard. I don't like the system. I want total control! I'm a maniac. But I will publish my own ebooks and then everything will work out fine. If I can bring myself to do the boring job of typing them up. Blahhh... Oo! I thought up an even better idea for that. It's backwards. I was going to first put a book on my site to read for free. Then after.... months (?) I will take it off my site and make it an ebook people can buy. Then if that is successful, I can make it a paperback book for the people who would rather hold a book in their hands when they read it. Hmmm.... I like that idea better than only SOME people getting to read it for free. Now everybody can if they read it while it's up on the site. Plus, I guess people could point things out that needed to be corrected before I ebookify it. If you want! No pressure! Heh.

Anyway, I have to get in the shower now. Places to go, people to see, laundry to do. Oo! Joey!!!! That's on tonight isn't it?!!! Weeeee! I hope it's funny! See ya later, peeps! (I've always wanted to say that.)

Chris on 09.09.04 @ 04:28 pm [link]

Something o'clock

I'm sitting here waiting for a package from UPS. But I'm the only one here and I have to pee. But I can't go to the bathroom cuz if the UPS person gets here while I'm in there, they won't leave the package. They'll just leave a note, "Sorry, sucker! Catch ya next time!" But in their own words.

Man, I have to pee! Let's distract me. Ummm, rainbows.... I just read an article on pot smoking. Now I miss the 60s. But I wasn't alive then. Whatever. It's just so sweet. High people are sweet (people high on pot anyway). Something like that. I've never been high, but... I have no point. I think drugs are a big time waster. But... pot seems so innocent, I don't mind if other people do it. As long as they're not driving. I guess that's my point. (Don't lecture me! I've seen the bad side of drugs too....!! I'm just saying...)

What else is going on? (I have to pee!) The other night I came home at midnight and there was a message on my answering machine, "Hi, this is Steve from the water department. I just got the call from the police, and I'll be right over." What??!! Ahhh!!!! Wrong number, I guess. There was no water/police problem at my apartment. Hmph.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I got sucked into "Passions", the soap opera today. Man, that's some funny shit. Where else will you hear a line like, "Tell me who you slept with and whose baby you're carrying along with our embryo that you stole from us when you drugged our surrogate and assumed her identity!! Tell me!!!!" LMAO!!!!

Hee hee hee....Gotta pee! Okay, I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna watch some more TV and distract myself. You know, I have other things to do today, UPS man!!!!!!!!

Adios!

Chris on 09.07.04 @ 04:58 pm [link]

Saturday ramblings

Sorry to interrupt your day with my random weekend babbling. I would have made the title of this entry "Water retention!", but I thought people would turn away in disgust before reading further. Ha! So, I'll put it politely, I was retaining water. For days or weeks, who knows? Then last night I took some garlic and ginger and drank some cranberry juice and I lost 3 pounds overnight. Nice, huh? I can almost see my ankle bones again. Yowza. I woke up in the middle of my "night" ("noon", to you people ) and I had to pee like a racehorse! (Whatever that means.) Cuz, uh, that's where all the water went, see. Hee! Small things like this make me happy. I feel healthier too.

No actual weight loss yet. Or fat loss or whatever you want to call it. But it'll happen. Cuz I'm determined. I think I gave myself heartburn with all my dancing around. But I waited for two hours after I ate before I exercised, but still, HEARTBURN. Hmm. ? I need more calcium. Yup. (That wasn't related to heartburn, I'm just saying.) I've been doing yoga too. I love yoga. It works the kinks out of all my joints and my spine. Very very niiiiice...! Not to mention it's relaxing. For the muscles. (I keep forgetting to finish my sentences today... la la la...)

Okay, I have to go soon. I have to go dogsit someone. A dog. (Pah!) I don't know why, though. She stays outside while I stay inside. I don't think she notices me being there. Once I've said hello to her and gone inside. Oh well.

I am HUNGRY. (I guess that can be it's own paragraph. I have nothing to add. )

Adios, amigos.

Chris on 09.04.04 @ 06:03 pm [link]

The dance!

A history of me and dancing. 'Ahem'. The dance began in early... blah blah blah. At one point or other I have wanted to be every type of artist there is, including dancer. 'Tis true. In high school (one of my favorite things to talk about) I would copy Madonna's dance moves in the "Lucky Star" and "Papa Don't Preach" videos and dance around my room. I thought dancing was soooo coooool. In some teeny bopper magazine ("YM", maybe?) I read about this girl who had died of... murder or suicide or drug overdose, I don't remember, but tragically, and she had been a dancer. Or a stripper. Or something. Anyway, in the article it said she was obsessed with dancing, and would dance around her room for hours, trying to be great at it or lose weight or I have no idea. But she danced so hard and so long that she raised the temperature in the room. And I thought that was COOL. I don't know why I would want to follow the example of a stripper or drug addict or whatever she was (I really can't remember!). I had no sense back then. But I tried dancing around my room for exercise, to be like her, and I got tired of that pretty quick. It was like, "Oh, this takes effort. Nevermind." I'm so weird.

When I used to dance in public, at a dance or a club or whatever, I would always end up either clapping my hands or jumping up and down. Hopping. Which takes a lot of effort. On top of looking stupid. I'm not a fan of dancing in public. I have a hard time doing anything so sensual or sexual or sexy or whatever it is in front of other people. It seems weird to me. Although once I danced for a boyfriend in the privacy of my dorm room. Probably didn't dance WELL, but he seemed impressed. Heh. Cuz we were both young and craziness is impressive then? I don't know. He was probably suppressing laughter. Sweet. Pfft! He once asked me at a dance if I would dirty dance with him. Ah, no. If only I were a different type of person. Then in the 90s, I went to a club with a friend of mine and finally loosened up enough to dance how I really dance when no one is looking (I'm pretty sure I had a few drinks in me). And my friend said, "You're a really good 80s dancer." Gasp!!! Apparently my dancing style is stuck in the 80s and probably always will be. I haven't danced in public since then. I thought, "That's it, I give up. I don't get it."

So, anyway, now my exercise routine is... tada!... dancing. Soooo, it reminded me of all this stuff. Slow dancing in junior high when it still seemed innocent and sweet. Awww. One of my college friends that I was infatuated with refusing to slow dance with me because he was afraid he might feel something. Awww. I was in the middle of a conversation with him on the edge of the dance floor when a slow song started and suddenly he bolted. In mid-conversation. I don't know where he went. But I wasn't even gonna - what the? - but! Hehe. Damn! And then the guy friend who had a crush on me who I wasn't interested in that way trying to kiss me while we danced. Sounds sweet - I must stop to laugh - but he lunged and I ducked out of the way. It was so overly dramatic. Hehe. Awww, I just remembered another moment. Being drunk in college (I don't drink anymore!), and seeing that guy friend I had a crush on, before we were really friends and I don't even think I knew his name. Or remembered it anyway. So, there I am, drunk, and he gets off the elevator with his friend and I'm standing there with my friend and we all talk and I want to touch his hair so I do. Then he decided we must dance, he was a dancer, and he took me in his arms (if you'll pardon the romance novel expression) and danced me all around the lounge. He said it was the dance from "The King and I". And I knew I couldn't dance, especially when I was drunk, but he was such a good dancer that he made me feel like I was a good dancer. And I thought that was soooo AWESOME. I bet he still has that great quality. Ah, memory lane.

Now for my favorite dancing moments from movies. In The Sound of Music, when they are all doing the Lindy, or whatever it's called, and Maria blushes and then runs away. Soooo cooolll!!!!! Ahhh! Just so damn beautiful and subtle and electric and romantic. Wow! And my other favorite movie dance moment is from Sing. When the two main characters are in a club slow dancing, and it turns into this WOW sort of thing, slowly. You can totally see/feel the tension between them. Then, ahhhh! It's like he begins to respect her and she begins to loosen up, and you can just feel them melding and it's soo damn electric!!! Phew! I like electric dancing, apparently.

You know, I was trying to make my entry shorter than usual, so I only gave myself ONE topic to talk about. But damn if I didn't ramble on anyway. My entries get longer and longer... I guess I have a lot to say. Pick a topic, any topic. But it was nice remembering. Sigh.... Well, 'til next time... Adieu.

Chris on 09.03.04 @ 04:13 am [link]

Roads and ovaries

I woke up this morning fascinated by roads. I thought, "I have to write about ROADS today in my blog. Roads are... so... coool.." I was totally sober, I've never been high. I just thought, "Dude, roads are AWESOME!!!" Minus the "dude" part. Hehe. It's like, well, here's my fascination with it. Some guy invents the car, and because of that invention roads have to be constructed everywhere. A car would be pretty useless without roads, yes? So, someone invents a machine that can't be used properly until we cover the towns with roads and connect them with roads. And now we take it for granted, 'Of course there are roads.' How weird. And then the day went on and I realized there were roads before cars. There were roads for wagons and carriages and such. Kinda took the wind out of my sails. My morning thoughts are so much cooler before logic gets involved.

In the same morning frame of mind I began to find it funny that people equate courage with testicles. Like that's where people keep it or get it from. Like, "Man, he has balls to do that!!" Or "You really have a set on ya, mister!" Whatever. But you never hear people talking to women like that, "You have some serious ovaries, lady!" Heh. And then I began to find it funny that I've heard it said, "Man, he has some big huevos!" Cuz 'huevos' means eggs, and that's a female thing. Strange.....

I have a repetitive stress injury on my finger! It's from opening pop cans. (Soda, cola, whatever you kids are calling it these days... ) I keep getting the same teeny little cut from the metal tab every time I open a can. So, I switched hands, and now it happens on the other hand. I swear normal people can open a can of pop without injuring themselves. I just don't know how they do it!!

I figured out a groovy plan for the ebooks. I'm gonna have regular contests to give away free ebooks. Like a trivia contest or something. I could pick a name out of a hat, but that has less drama. You couldn't see me do it. But the books would cost a reasonable amount of money for everyone else to buy. That way some can be free. My morning brain may have thought of this. I can't remember. But it still seems like a good idea to me. !? Unfortunately, I still have to type both books into the computer because they are written out in longhand in notebooks. Well, the first is on a disk that only works in my word processor. Frustrating! (Woa! I just realized 'longhand' is the opposite of 'shorthand'. Wow. Seriously, I'm totally not high.)

Anyhoo. It's time to go. I feel like singing a Mr. Rogers song now. The goodbye song. The one where he puts his sweater back on and leaves his own house. ? Hehe. Adios!

Chris on 09.02.04 @ 02:48 am [link]

Shower by candlelight

Not as nice as it sounds. For the second time in a month, the power went out when I was in the shower. But this time I knew the bathroom layout better and didn't kick the scale on my tippy-toe trip through the pitch black bathroom. Grrrr.... Last time it happened I was almost done with the shower anyway, so I just got out of the shower. But this time I was right in the middle. So, I dripped all over my house collecting candles and matches. In denial about the fact that I was out of the shower I refused to dry my hands. (You ever do that? You have to run to a cupboard for more shampoo or a washcloth and in your mind you think, 'I'm not out of the shower, I'm still in it! I'm still in it!' And hurry back to the shower before the rest of you realizes you were out for a minute? No? Just me then? Anyway.) I tried to light a match with wet hands. Does not work. I actually thought, though, "This box of matches is broken!!" Duuhhhh. So, I dry my hands and try again. Voila! We have fire. The rest of the story is rather uneventful. I put the candles on the sink, and finished my shower. But the power came back on, oh, about 17 minutes later (I take long showers), and it scared the piss out of me. (Not literally. Though, I was in the shower, who would have cared?! Well, me. Eww. Anyway.) But it's funny I was more freaked out when the lights came on than I was when they went out. Pah!

Whenever the power goes out and then comes back on, my printer freaks out and is left on for some reason. Like, "What?! You wanted to print something? I'm awake! I'm awake!" And I have to tell it, "False alarm. You can go back to sleep. I'll let you know when I need you." Oh, never. Snooze. And, hey, I did better with telling time today. Got my clocks all working properly without incident. Geeez.

In other news... I have decided to publish my first two novels. Yes, I have written two novels. The first one needs a little work. And the second one practically needs to be rewritten. The first is a romance set in 1600 in a place a lot like England but not. And the second is about a small town prostitute in current modern times. It's quite smutty. Rated X I'd say. If a book can be rated X. You may have to have pictures (moving or still) to be that. Okay, maybe it's NC-17 then. (Which is a movie thing, but people use it online, so whatever!) I love the story of the second novel (and the first!), but I would be forever horrified if anyone ever read the smutty things I had written! Even if I tone it down my family will not be allowed to read it! Ahhhh! Cuz I know someone will end up saying to me, "How do you know that stuff...?!" I made it up. It's fiction. Geez, mom.

Anyway, they will both be ebooks. And as cheap as I can make them (well, almost ), but not free. Will that upset anyone? We shall see. I've been debating, "Free? Not free? Free? Not free?" (But with more words.) Free might get more readers, but free means.... I'm giving and giving with nothing in return! I don't know. Except for lots of people reading them, which is nice. Hmm. Anyone care to comment? Also, if you see something is free, doesn't it make you think it must not be worth anything? Like, "Why read that book? I've never heard of it and it's being given away!"

I don't know. I've thought of - or okay it just occurred to me, but NOW I'm thinking it! - giving away one book (oh, no, I had this thought before, but enough interruptions), and then just giving the first chapter away with all the others. Hmm? Like... so people can see what one of my finished books is like. But... all my books are so different, would it really be a good sample? I have about 6 future novels planned. Tons of notes on them. But no reason to write them because I don't know if I have an audience yet. 'Taps microphone.' "Is this thing on?" Echo... echo... echo...

That's not directed at you! BAH! I'm just thinking aloud. Or... thinking in type. Whatever. I am taking up too much space on this page. (And it's that kind of self-defeating thinking....! Ramble, ramble, ramble...) Hmm... I'll have to think some more just to myself. The normal way. You know, in my own head. Ha!

Okay, adios, then.

Chris on 09.01.04 @ 03:49 am [link]