Human Interaction

Had enough of it. This week. Actually dogs have annoyed me more than people this week. They are soooo.... needy or something. They remind me why I don't ever want to have children while I have a full time job. EVER. The alarm goes off at 5:30 one morning and one of them puts his paws up on the bed, "Yay! Let's play! Time to go outside!" And I said, "NO." He backed away, "Oh. Sorry," and went to play in the living room. Yeesh. Niiiiice dog sitter.

I throw the ball with them. We have our kicks. But.... damn I hate being responsible. It sucks rocks. Bluck. I have too much to do! I thought up a fascinating new soap opera story in my head. Last weekend. I was supposed to come up with the outline for a novella to sell to Harlequin. But then I thought, "Screw it!" And I wrote notes for an online soap instead. For me. And one day possibly you. I read the Harlequin message boards and apparently most people get their stories rejected, and they have to wait 3-4 months before that even happens. But I just want a new car, man! New to me, anyway. Newer car. Gah.

I was gonna sell out just a little bit. It was gonna be a paranormal story. About a werewolf and a redheaded witch. Heh. It was completely different than Willow and Oz! And then I realized maybe she shouldn't have red hair. Okay! Light brown. Whatever. Oh well. That may be written someday. If I am ever in the mood for a plain and simple romance. They insist that the heroes be all brawny and strong and beefy or something. These aren't the words they use. But what if a person isn't attracted to that type? I like the cute nerdy type. Like Will in my last book. Geeky cute. SMART. Anyway. I also like clean cut types. None of this rippling muscles and long mane of hair crap. Bleck. Okay. Now you know my type. Yikes! And my untype. Hahaha.

Spelling out my laughter. Not good. No, it's not good! I am indeed hysterical. As in crazy. As in too busy to think straight. Today I think I did so many things I couldn't list or remember them all. But that would bore you anyway. I had to contact AAA about my membership card that never arrived. They are sending me a new one. But my question is, where is the old one? Is there some strange person out there with my card getting roadside assistance in my name? Is there???!!!! Geez!

Someone gave me cash for babysitting her dogs, that's right I charge for that! Anyway, my bank is only open when I am at work. But there's a bank in the grocery store open later that I have an account at. So I deposited it there, then went to check my balance online. They canceled my online access because my account was "dormant". So, I had to call their toll free number and talk to a human and get my balance. Then I wrote myself a check from myself and deposited it in the night deposit box at my bank that I actually use. All because I didn't want to take time off work to go to the bank. I can't use cash for much. Just groceries. Even at the gas station they make you prepay. Which pretty much means debit or credit card, yes? GAH. So, I had to get it into imaginary electronic form. You understand. Imaginary. Pfft.

Little dog vomited twice before work yesterday. And I had to quick clean it up so they wouldn't walk through it all day while I was at work. And I think he only vomited because I closed the doggie door at night. And he couldn't get out to pee. But I used to leave the doggie door open and then the neighbor across the street's big sheep dog came right in and started tossing the little puppy around. Kicked the little booger right off the front porch. I guess the sheep dog is a she. Whatever. But it scared the piss out of me to see some big creature suddenly lumbering down the hallway. Holy shit! No more of that! Anyway. See how I'd make a mean dog-mom? Yeah....

They are probably missing me right now and barking like crazy. I came home to my own apartment to write in the blog. Didn't want to log in at my mom's. What if she somehow gets my password and comes in here and attempts to imitate me???!!! Hey, I have my weird paranoias. More likely she would just accidentally futz with my settings. Whateva. That's annoying too.

Sigh. I decided not to watch TV this year. Ha! Or most of it. I have to watch Smallville to see if they FINALLY get the Clark and Chloe romance going right. And I have to watch Supernatural to see how Dean gets out of Hell, even though from the sound of it they don't explain it right away. Whatever. Everything else I can rent someday. But I want to get some writing done. If I had cable - with CBS - I would have to watch How I Met Your Mother too. But I don't, so I can't, so I won't.

I can't watch Dollhouse for that reason too. So, I hope Fox puts it online. Hahahah. 'Cough.' Or I will just have to buy it on DVD. That's right, I said buy! I'm gonna buy HIMYM. Let's call it that. I just made that up. It's never been called that before by anyone anywhere. Score!

Hee hee. I'm not even toooo sleep deprived. Just a tad. I watched Dr. Horrible yesterday at my mother's with no hurky jerkiness. She has a super fast connection. I was setting up her computer a while ago and I said, "You just downloaded a 20 megabyte file in 19 seconds. I hate you." Her: "Oh, is that good?" Me: "YES." Her: "Oh. What's a megabyte?" Something like that. Why do people who are indifferent to the Internet always have the best connections to it????!!!!! GAAHHHHH!

Phew! Okay. Back to reality. Geesh. "Right! Freeze Ray." -Dr. Horrible. So obsessed. So obsessed.

I ate popcorn for dinner last night! And soy jerky. It's like Tourette's now. I'm just shouting out random things involuntarily. I've been trying to lose weight, but I think the dog stress is getting to me. My pants were really tight today. There may have been some M&M eating incidents in the past week. Or similar. One may have been a cake eating incident. What can I tell ya? Stresssss.....! Woohoo!!!! It's Friday. I'm a little happy.

I should probably get back to those evil barking twins. They really are cute. Surrrre they are. They are! When they are well behaved and not barking or puking or peeing inside the house or jumping up on me or biting me or licking me (yes, I find that gross, I can't help it!) or throwing a grimy tennis ball in my lap - I created two monsters - or tracking mud everywhere or doing the thing where one of them goes outside and one of them stays inside so they can howl at each other about how much it sucks to be apart. ?? What the hell is that about?

But I digress. I gots ta go! Later.

Chris on 08.29.08 @ 11:39 pm [link]

Valerian

I know it's only been two days since I posted last, but I forgot some things I wanted to say and I'm bored and less bitchy now, so here I am.

I took Valerian to help me sleep in because I went to bed so late. But then I only got 5 hours of sleep and then got up and went to go get the oil changed in my car. So, I still had some Valerian in my system. Which I didn't realize until I started driving and drove right in front of another car and they honked at me. And I thought, "Oh, well." Then wondered why I had such a cavalier attitude, then realized it was Valerian. Then realized I couldn't care less cuz I was all hopped up on Valerian. I was giggly at work the other day and that was also a day when I had taken Valerian the night before to sleep. DAMN. It doesn't feel like anything to be "on" it. Until you find yourself giggling too much or driving like a maniac and you wonder why. I am very laid back right now.

I woke up this morning (too early of course) and laid there and started laughing cuz my new "web series" was writing itself in my head some more. I sat there in bed and wrote 3 pages of it. DAMN. It just keeps going. I love it! It makes me laugh like a crazy maniac. I don't know if I will ever have it produced or anything, but I may as well write it down now, quick while I still work in medical records and can still remember what's funny about it. Tee hee hee. I guess it's good for the soul to write some occasional funny in between your dark dark murderous novels. Yeeks. YES, it is good for the soul. DAMN, I say again!

Okay. The other day I cleaned my entire shower with a toothbrush. Yup. It was the only way to get between the tiles. Never put tile... anywhere! Not if you yourself will have to clean it. Oh, I don't know. Nothing but a toothbrush seems to do the trick. It took at least an hour. I had to clean the house before I asked the apt. manager to fix the faucets, see. GEEZ. Anyway. It was strangely satisfying. Cuz I'm obsessive compulsive. Eee! Yeah, too much of the wrong kind of fun. Yup.

So. Got the oil changed today and they were extra nice. Held the door open for me. Explained everything to me. La la la. What's up? Then they broke my seatbelt. It still works as a seatbelt, I just have to crawl under it now. Not cool! It's an automatic one. I don't know how they fucked it up. But I'm too Valerian mellow to care. I was hoping it would straighten itself out on its own. Sometimes it does. Ya never know....

OH. I got a new computer. A hand-me-down computer, actually. From my sister. And so far, I know this: It has a Pentium III processor and my computer has a Celeron. YEAH. It has a 9 GB hard drive. ???? Mine has 33 GB. Mine has a CD burner. New kid on the block does not. Soooo... I'm gonna create a Frankenstein monster out of the two computers. Put my hard drive and CD burner and possibly some of my RAM into the new hand-me-down computer. Whoop! Make a super computer. One that may actually play my iTunes videos....

Anyway! But that will take careful thought. And time. And right now I am busy trying to figure out how to set up my Wordpress blog. Geez. Every page has to be set up separately. I mean the templates or whatever they are even called. Theme files. Whatever. TIME. I got the main page. Hey, I bet it's there to look at. Won't be too exciting, though, so I won't link to it. Tee!

I was thinking of getting a Twitter account. But I don't know if I can have short thoughts. What? You know. Whatever.

Hey, no nightmares lately. Last night I suddenly got into Fiona Apple's When the Pawn album again. Wish I could waste gas and drive all over the outskirts of town at night singing it. But no. But there's so much traffic lately at night anyway, you really can't belt out Fiona songs like you used to be able to. Heh. Even thought of doing some You Tube karaoke of Fiona songs. Not with a visual of me however. Just the audio. And maybe some scenes from your favorite BUFFY. Hee. But first I must buy a laptop to take with me to a big empty parking lot at midnight to record myself belting out the tunes. A cappella. Cuz I realized I could take my little boom box, but then how would I get that recording on the web? Blast it into my computer microphone? No no. Someday you may hear me singing "Paper Bag" and "Love Ridden". And you will not laugh at me!

Whatever. Sigh. Valerian.

My mother is convinced the deer that attacked her was too huge to be of this Earth. "I think it was a Celestial Deer." Wracking my brain to see if I've ever heard of such a deer.

"Did you make that up?"

"Yes."

Pfft. Shhhhh!!!! Don't tell her I told you that!

Speaking of... nothing that we were speaking of, I find it impossible to make money from Amazon unless I hardcode the links. What? Why? It's so much harder that way! That's why. Sorry, just pondering. Yup. Gotta find a way to make a living from writing. From free writing. Hehehe. DUMB. No no, not dumb. Just... different. Or totally the way to go! I haven't decided. No, it is the way to go. Better to have the stories out there than not. But better still to be able to quit the day job and write more stories and perhaps a web series someday.... Weeeeee!!!!!! And, you know, sing Fiona Apple songs on You Tube that I recorded on my laptop that I don't have but will someday. Actually I may do that anyway. Buy a cheap refurbished one. Hmm.... Even for typing up my novels, once again in my comfy chair. Where they were written.

Speaking of my comfy chair, I am seriously thinking about throwing it in the dumpster. It's a piece of crap. Sorry, comfy chair. Months ago, possibly a year, I broke some springs in it and now it's all uneven and weird. And it was old and scary to begin with. Yeeks. I need a new chair. Or I may dump that one and just drag the couch over to where it was. The old hand-me-down couch that I may discover has broken springs of its own when I unbury it. I use it for storage. I have it hidden behind my bookshelves. I know! Not a people friendly apartment. But book and DVD friendly!

Okay, I babbled WAY more than I intended to. Which is exactly why I don't need a Twitter account. I would not do well with that. It would cut me off all the time.

Wow, there's another text box here! For the "More" part of the entry. Hee. Oops! Anywhatever. I'd better go. I have to eat dinner, find my unlabeled Fiona tape (from a store bought copy of the CD that I have - chill!), and.... I forgot the third thing. Because I have ADD. And Valerian.

Later!

P.S. Maybe there was no third thing.... I think I counted dinner twice. Okay, whatever. Yawning now... Later again!

Chris on 08.09.08 @ 07:00 pm [link]

Steam

There is a whole story involving steam - or really condensation - but let's just skip it. Grr.

I was going to put up my new blog really fast so I could talk about the X-Files movie. Bleck. But then I couldn't wait. I like this simple text box anyway. Ha!

Okay, my faucet in my tub was leaking hot water, lots of it, and when I came home for lunch there was water dripping down all the walls in my bathroom. Making little yellow droplet puddles on top of the heater and elsewhere. Ew. Apparently, my walls are not clean. It's a smoking building. ? When we cleaned the walls of the smoking floor of the hotel, it looked like that. Anyway.

There were big drops of water forming in the bathroom doorway too. I'd told my apt. manager about it 2 days ago - the leak - but nothing had happened. So, on my way back to work I wrote a note on some scratch paper and stuck it to his door, which was locked and he was gone even though he was supposed to be there. I stuck it to his door with a band-aid. Heh. It was all I had. A clean one!

So, finally today when I came home from work, the faucet was fixed. Now it only leaks a little. Instead of torrents. Pfft. I'll take it. Whatever. I've been here nine years. How 'bout every nine years you give me a new faucet!!???!!

Grr.

Anyway. The X-Files movie. Pfft. Was bad. Yup. I was gonna snark on it so much, but I ran out of steam. Heh. See what I did there?

Let's start slowly, like a choo choo train. There will be spoilers. Lots and lots of spoilers. First off, the movie left me with a sticky residue in my brain. Like it gunked up my mind and left it all slimy and gloppy. There are certain things you just can't wash out of your mind. Ew. Colony of pedophiles. Illegal organ harvesting. BODY harvesting. Two headed dog. Mulder and Scully wussing out and whining a lot. I don't know when they became an old retired couple either. Ew. Not that there's anything wrong with being an old retired couple. I can't wait to be half of one! But, bleck. Too soon.

I wanted Mulder and Scully in suits. Being sharp and witty and sassy as usual. I want them hanging from tall buildings with the "artifact" in one hand, going to Antarctica, lots of exploding cars/buildings/phone booths, whatever. Snide villains. Sigh.

Just getting warmed up. There was no X-File in the X-Files movie. Unless you count psychic ability. But that's almost normal now. I can see that on Medium. And weird Frankenstein monsters? Yeah, I think that one was written much better centuries ago by Mary Shelley. (Oooo, them's fightin' words. Eek!) 'Cough.'

I like that there was a new addition. Amanda Peet. But she had no.... nothing interesting to say except that she believes in Mulder. Thanks for stopping by. And then they got rid of her, whoops, accidentally knocked her off the edge of a building. Oopsies. And the moment felt as ridiculous as that. As she was falling - 10 or 12 stories down - which took about 5 minutes for some reason, they showed these 3 rebar looking stake things that she was going to land on. And my friend said to me loudly, "Like the fall isn't bad enough?!" and I said, "I know, right?!" and we laughed. And then the people in front of us laughed at us. Hee. Oops. I kinda forgot we weren't in a living room. We were in a movie theater. But there were only 7 people there, so you know. We were practically alone!

And then my friend after the movie pointed out something to me. Did Scully, or did she not, Google certain medical procedures, and then - based on her research from GOOGLE - perform BRAIN SURGERY?

Oh my God.

That's one hell of a product placement. Kids, don't try this at home. And another problem I was having with that scenario was.. Scully's a BRAIN SURGEON now? What? I suppose she's had time to become a specialist. But in the rest of the movie she pretty much seemed to be a hospitalist. A doctor who takes care of inpatients in a hospital. I don't think Scully's a surgeon. It always bothered me on the show how she would go into some strange hospital she had no privileges or rights at, in a state she wasn't licensed in, and start bossing people around and they would listen to her and obey. ???? At least when they did that on Firefly, the other doc said, "Who are you?" Geez.

The movie was two things that I hate for movies to be. Boring and gross. But it just disappointed the hell out of me! Duuuuummmmb. I may be in a mood, but, DUDE. The plot was not exactly spectacular. Scully and Mulder are not sharp and witty and brave anymore. I don't even know if they can move quickly anymore. GEEZ. I don't know, I waited for six years for this and I guess I just expected it to be SOMETHING. You know? The first movie is one of my favorite movies ever. And I smile now.

Pft. I actually have more complaints, but I will keep them to myself. Why? I've bored you enough. 'Taps her bottle of antidepressants', Is this thing on? Heh. I mean 5HTP! As usual. I'm trying a new brand. HMM. Does it show?

I thought up a funny little web series today that takes place in one room and it's about - wait for it - medical records!!!! Where do I get these ideas?! But it will never happen. I don't have A) a camera, and B) other humans to play all the parts. Ffft. Hmm. But I made myself laugh at work. People must think I'm "touched".

But then the story got all serious with homophobia and anti-vegetarianism. Or anti-homophobia and anti-anti-vegetarianism. You see my point. Those are the things that bother me that I hear the most in the workplace. HMM. Actually I don't hear about anti-vegetarianism, it's just sometimes... it's hard to be one there! I had this conversation at work once about going out for pizza:

Me: I'm a vegan, I don't eat dairy.
Them: You could have a salad.
Me: I need protein.
Them: You could add some meat to it.
Me: I'm a vegetarian.
Them: What?

Yup. I saw this sign up at work once too, about a free lunch, still pondering it: "There are vegetarians in this office, please save the chicken for them." If I'd have been drinking something, I could've done a spit take.

Anyway, in my head, the web show is FUNNY. Hey, maybe I'll make it a cartoon. Someone teach me how to draw. Pfft. I mean I can draw realism, but I need to draw cartoony. Help me! Okay, calm down.

Oh, hey! I meant to link to the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. MUCH funnier than a kid on a bike with a cell phone. Okay, here's a link: LINK. Watch it!

This also is pretty darn cute: LINK.

No, you don't get to know what they are until you go there. They both involve Neil Patrick Harris. Huh? What's not to love? The second one involves Felicia Day mostly. It cracks me up. Tee hee. Okay, calm.

Dr. Horrible is free on the web again. Check it out!

Okay, and now I really must go. Oh, hey, I redesigned my website. MOST of it anyway. Still pondering the blog.... Hmmmm....

Okay, bitchiness elsewhere! Time for me to fly! Or, actually, eat. But that just does not sound as exciting. Bah. Later. ~

Chris on 08.07.08 @ 07:37 pm [link]