Clocks

Helloo. Let me tell you the tale of yesterday. Okay, only part of it. Cuz the rest is boring. More boring. - We now interrupt this broadcast. How funny is this? I go to look up "boringer" on an online dictionary (don't ask why), and it says, "There is no entry for that. Did you mean 'boring-er'?" So, I click on "boring-er", and it says, "There is no entry for that. Did you mean 'boring er'?" So, I click on that, and it says, "There is no entry for that. Try looking up the words separately." So, I click on "boring", and well, there you go. Helpful!!!!

Anyhoo, the tale of yesterday. The power went out twice while I was asleep. I woke up once to the clock flashing 12-something, and then again to no numbers at all. Then I woke up and there was power, but I had to fix all my clocks. Okay, no biggee. I look at the wall clock in the kitchen, which runs on a battery, and has a face and hands. You know, the kind they teach you to read in third grade or whenever. The big hand is on the 4, so I think, "Okay, it's 6:40," and I run around my house changing all my clocks to 6:40. PAH! Then I sit down a little while later, and the kitchen wall clock says, "6:35." And I think, "Am I losing my mind??!!!!" Then I realize I'm a moron and I can't tell time, and I read the clock wrong before, BUT I no longer trust myself to tell the time, so I call the time and temperature recording on the phone to see what time it really is. Pfft. Then I have to go back and change all 5 of my clocks again. AGAIN!! It was early in the morning. Okay, it wasn't. I waited all day to fix the clocks and then in my regular daytime brain, I forgot how to tell time. Pffftttt..!

Now I'll tell you my crazy plan for world domination. Okay, I lied again. It's really my crazy plan for... weight loss and health and such, I guess. I decided to become a vegan again (I'm lacto-ovo vegetarian at the moment), but I only want to go halfway there. So, I decided that if I can't SEE the dairy or eggs, then it's an okay food to eat. Cuz then there must be less dairy and eggs in it, yes? Like, I can't eat pizza, nachos, mac & cheese, french toast, or omelets. But I can eat muffins, burritos, taquitos, bread, CAKE, COOKIES, and umm.... peanut butter granola bars. I don't know, you get the idea. Let's see if it makes me less fat!! Woo hoo! Yeah. Hmm. I danced around in the dark again today, though. It could happen. Someday I will tell the story of my weight gain and loss and gain and loss and gain in here. But it's too long, so not now.

Okay, one more seriously random fact about me. In high school I had this bright flourescent lime green T-shirt with hot pink writing on it (it was the 80s, play along). I loved it. I thought it was mucho cool. But I wouldn't wear it to school. I was afraid it would call attention to me and make my teachers call on me more often. Like, "What is that bright spot... You. Answer the question." Of course, it could have had the opposite effect. "No, don't call on the kid in the bright shirt. Too obvious.... You. Guy in gray curled up in the corner. Answer the question." Heehe.

And now for the day's funny quote from Friends.

Chandler: "Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside."

Hmm. I like them better out of context. No, not really, but here's more:

Chandler to Joey: "I'm sorry, man. There's never a good time to have to stop catching on fire."

And one more!

Chandler: "It's Sir Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Quick, Pheebs. Up on the ceiling!"

Heeheh. You should see my typos. And, man I am longwinded today. But I'm gonna go. I'm tired of correcting myself. BAH!! (Okay, this one's scary: )

Adios.

Chris on 08.31.04 @ 03:24 am [link]

Dancing in the Dark

Sweet mother of all that is good and pure. I am bored. Enough with the Olympics! Ahhhhhh!!!!! There are certain sports I like, but all day every day.... !!!?? Blech. I hope it's over. I'm afraid to look. I only have two channels. And one of them is overrun with sports. Icky!

Anyhoo. I have my first commenter. Hi, Lesli. Nope, I haven't seen those other commercials. But I think it's funny I seem to be the only one who likes the oven mitt.

Now let me tell a story about how bored I am. I paused and zoomed in on my Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs over and over to find out for sure if Sarah Michelle Gellar has her right ear pierced twice and her left ear pierced three times. (She does, for those of you who ever wondered.)

And speaking of that show, since we may as well continue, I just watched an episode where Willow gets chloroformed. That doesn't happen often enough anymore in movies and TV. I love it! It's so cool. Someone is caught off guard, struggles fiercely for a moment, and then goes limp in the arms of their attacker. Wow! It's so awesomely creepy. !

Also, how sexy is Giles when he's doing witchcraft? I love it when he has to yell something. It's so unrefined and improper. Hee. And it's so funny when he's yelling at a demon to get out of the Internet and he has one hand on his hip like a Mr. Fancy Pants. ROTFLMAO!

Ah, I need a life. I've realized that all I do is sit. At the computer, in front of the TV, and then I leave my house and go other places and sit. So, I've started exercising by dancing around my living room. But I'm paranoid about my silhouette dancing across the closed curtains with me. (This is at night, you see.) So I turned off most of my lights. Then I danced around for a long time and noticed I could still see a muffled shadow of me dancing on the curtains. How embarrassing! So I turned off all my lights but one. I left the storage closet light on just so I could see where I was. So, there was me, dancing in the dark. Probably in a dorky way that I thought was super cool. As is my wont.

And now it is almost sleepy time. I'm too lazy to sit up straight to type. Bah. 'Night for now then. Cheers.

Chris on 08.29.04 @ 04:43 am [link]

Good morning, Angels

"Good morning, Charlie!" I can't help it. I just watched the first Charlie's Angels movie. It is so darn cute! Great action sequences. Not the least bit realistic, but fun! Woooo! Hurrah for the easily amused!! But it didn't look easy to make. Does that make me NOT easily amused? Hmm. Something to ponder.

In other news, I think the Arby's oven mitt has jumped the shark. Now he has his own mini oven mitt. What? Sure, I bought all the other silly commercials, but why, Arby's, why? I mean, er, uh... I really laughed my butt off at all the oven mitt commercials, but it appears I may be the only one. (Google it. Yikes.) But now, it does not make me laugh anymore. Who knows why? Such is life. And if you think I must have too much time on my hands to be writing (or, God forbid, THINKING) about this, au contraire, looky here [click me!]. Hmm. (Okay, I still have too much time on my hands. I did, after all, Google "Arby's oven mitt". )

You ever watch "Studio 7"? Fascinatingly weird. It's a trivia game show reality show... show. I love the creepy little "Help me...." Ahhhhh! Eee!

I had all kinds of quiet real life quirky things to say, but then the television got a hold of me. And this is what happens. Tsk tsk. Pfft. Well!

Mmm, I guess I'll go now. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. (Ewwww.)

Chris on 08.27.04 @ 03:03 am [link]

Win XP SP2

I finally downloaded the behemoth Windows XP Service Pack 2. I backed up all my files and then tapped the Windows Update icon on the shoulder and said, "Okay! I'm ready to update now," and I clicked the download button. It ignored me! Ruuuude! So, I went to the Windows Update site to do it myself. Hmph. Then after it downloaded, Automatic Windows Update woke up and started to wrestle Manual Windows Update for my attention. They struggled for a bit, and Automatic Update emerged the victor. Then it got to work saying, "Don't worry. Go do your thing and I'll download the update. I'll let you know when it's ready!" Pfft! Then Auto Update realized everything had already been downloaded. And quietly, with a red face, it showed me the agreement to read through again. Hm! Then it got down to business and started to install the gigantic update. The update installed without incident, after a loooong wait, and Auto Update said not another word.... embarrassed, I guess.

Say "Win XP SP2" three times fast.

Anyway, I have no other news. It made me type in my password again at a few websites, but other than that I haven't had any problems. I love the popup blocker! It works better than the Google toolbar. Google seems to freak out when it catches a popup. There's a firework flash and a 'pop'! But the IE blocker just goes 'blip', and casually mentions it at the top of the screen, "Oh, by the way, I caught a popup." And another, and another, 'blip, blip'. I love it! Google toolbar can't handle two in a row. Go, IE popup blocker, go!

You'd think I have no life. I'm sure I did other things today. I just can't for the life of me remember what they were! Ah, well. I woke up and then I... nope, no clue. Probably ate breakfast.... Bah! Wrote down my dreams in the real diary. Hmm. Enough thinking aloud! I must go see what other weirdness SP2 caused. Ye never know, do ye?

Aloha,

Chris on 08.26.04 @ 02:49 am [link]

Burp

So, I'm sleeping away and suddenly I am awakened in the middle of my designated sleeping time ("daytime" in layman's terms) by the urge to burp. What? Yes, you read right. It was bizarre. I woke up with this need to burp, and it went on for at least 30 seconds or a minute. I could have been one of those people who burp the alphabet. I almost woke up fully it went on so long! And I said to myself in my head, "You woke me up for THAT?" I can understand waking up because I was cold or thirsty, but waking up because I needed to be burped?! Sheesh!

Anyway, moving on. Yesterday, or some other day, I don't remember, but RECENTLY, I turned on my computer, and that Windows Update bubble popped up as usual, but this time it was hanging down from the top of the screen instead of the bottom. Like it was trying to get my attention by popping up in an unusual place. It was so WEIRD. Like a little monkey hanging from the top of my screen, "Helloooo. Have something for yooooooo." No, monkey! Go away!

Now more random weird facts about me. I once had a disagreement with a boyfriend about how long we would be together. I was willing to be together 'til death did us part, but he wanted to be together for all eternity. And I said WOA, what if I have something else planned for after my death? I don't know what I'll be doing then. But for him, after death was when we were going to really get close and kick it up a notch. That was his favorite part. I said but that's not even the standard. The standard is "'Till death do us part". That is a socially acceptable level of commitment, yes? But it was not good enough for him. The ways of the world our not our ways. We're different. I forget exactly what he said. But he was very offended that I thought I would live other lives in the future with other husbands. He didn't believe in reincarnation. But I thought how am I supposed to learn and grow if I have the same husband in every life? (Talk about a weird version of commitment phobia!?) So, there you have it. That was an actual conversation I had with my former beloved. Which makes us both pretty weird, I guess. In a beautiful sort of way.

Ah, that's all my news for today. Now I'm off to drink a lot of water and watch more Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Two totally unrelated things. Don't strain yourself!) Ciao.

Chris on 08.25.04 @ 03:27 am [link]

Rain

It is I! (I'm so weird.) I finally finished the video. It took a day longer than I thought it would. I got very frustrated with the crashing movie making program. (Windows Movie Maker. Blech!) And now it's done, and the web version never looks as good as the just-for-me computer version. VERY FRUSTRATING. I guess there are things I haven't learned yet. Paragraph break.

Tee! Anyway, it rained on me last night. I came out of the grocery store and it was pouring down rain. I thought it was terribly ironic because I had just bought water. Pfft! Then I got into the car with no dry towel (or shirt sleeve) to dry my hands or face on, so I had to drive with slippery hands. And water dripping into my eyes. And I realized something. Rain has no chlorine in it. Well, dur. But it didn't sting my eyes like shower water. It was AWESOME.

More weird facts about me. Well, actually just one. When I'm doing something fragile and important on the computer - or hell even recording something important on the VCR - I'm afraid to touch the ground with my feet. [Pause for your laughter.] Hee. I'm afraid my socks will create static electricity and zap my computer or VCR and put a stop to the whole whatever important thing I was trying to do. My paranoias are very specific.

Mmm, you wanna hear about the deer I saw the other day? I went out and got into my car and pulled out of my parking spot and then I saw a 'big person' run along the grass next to the parking lot. I wondered where anyone would have to be in such a hurry. I looked over, and it was a deer. I always think that when I see a deer out of the corner of my eye, "Why is that big person walking so weirdly... OH." Duhhh. Heehehe. Anyway, it was just leaping along happily, not at all concerned that a person was watching it leap, and driving at 2 miles per hour to keep watching it leap. It sort of bounced around into the grassy area between apartment buildings - la la la - and out of my view. I have many more stories about deer, but this may interest only me. ?

I love that I'm learning to do paragraphs. There are no paragraph breaks in my head. It's pretty much a run-on sentence in there. All the time! Lately I've been telling myself to "Shush!" in my head. And I'm wondering where I learned the word "shush". Hmm... time to go. Must bounce around the net happily. La la la.

Chris on 08.24.04 @ 03:02 am [link]

Video making

I'm making a new video. Based on the XF ep "First Person Shooter". It should be up by late Sunday night. (Late late!) Unless something unforeseen happens. And what's up with the latest Windows Media Player being crap compared to the version before it? It starts to play the audio before the video has loaded. Like it just can't wait. Grr. Then I have to stop the video and start it again to see the beginning. I feel like Pierre Bernard in his Recliner of Rage. Hee. (Did that make any sense? Conan O'Brien show, see.) I'm sitting here in semi-darkness. I hate climbing up on a chair (with wheels on the bottom of it, my only chair! Okay, besides that recliner there, ha! Truly.) to change the hall light. Which is what I use when I'm sitting here at the computer. Along with a bunch of other lights to see if I can stretch enough light over to my computer. Pfft! Mindless. I'm babbling. But... I'm too tired to finish the video, so here I am being mindless instead. Ho hum. I guess that's all I have to say. I have to put myself to bed now. Geeez. Nightie night! (Or good morning.)

Chris on 08.21.04 @ 05:48 am [link]

Morning

My computer is so slow. I have a lack of sugar headache. I should start doing something I do with my emails. I write the whole thing, then I go back and remove all the exclamation points. ! I'm a little too in love with the exclamation point. (See last entry. Ah, it's not so bad.) It makes me seem hyperactive. Or crazy. Weee!!! (There it is again.) I'm tired right now. But you can't tell. (What? How do I know? Maybe you can.) It's almost my bedtime. It's not really morning. I don't know why I called this entry that. Except it is morning. To normal folk. I also think it's weird when people (me) spell out their laughter, "Hahahahaha." It makes it seem maniacal. Maniacal laughter. ('Looks up "maniacal". Makes sure it's a word.') But I haven't made friends with "lol" yet. So I spell out my laughter... like a... weird... 'falls asleep.... slumps on the keyboard'.... blahhhhhh...... 'sleeps with her eyes open' Hehe! (Ah, dammit, I just broke all my rules.)

Chris on 08.20.04 @ 04:43 am [link]

Bah humbug!

Microsoft bothers me. Pesters me to update my computer. I don't wanna. I already have a firewall and a popup blocker. Hmm, updates to Outlook Express, though. Yum. (??!) Must go do laundry soon. Loooove talking to myself in here. Weee! (Tone it down, sister!) Damn, I'm hungry. I have to figure out how to backup things on my computer, whatever that means. (You see how little I know.) Argh! Is it Friday yet? No? Damn. I planned to write more, but I have to go now. The little Windows Update icon is staring at me from the taskbar. (Is that the taskbar? Down at the bottom of the screen? Or is that at the top? What the feck!) I could write poems about how it haunts me. (I need a life.) Sigh. Look at this smiley . Ha! It's called "plain". Hahaha! For when you want people to know you have no expression on your face and feel nothing in particular. Ha!! That's so funny! This one's called "doze" , but it's eyes are open. Fascinating. Must go. Later!

Chris on 08.19.04 @ 05:58 pm [link]

Burrrrr..

I'm not sure how to spell "burrr", but I'm cold. The air conditioning is on too high. Fascinating! I know. I'll turn it down. It's distracting me. Ah, better. I can feel my heart beating in my left ear. It's driving me crazy. I keep thinking if I turn my head this way or that way I can make it stop. But no. It's like the hiccups. For the ear. It's relentless. Soon I'll start trying to make deals with God to make it go away. I hope I don't sign away my first born or anything. No, that would be a deal with the Devil. No, wait, Rumplestiltskin. (I can't believe I can spell that!) I'm rambling. Really, I'm just testing my blog out, to see what bizarre things happen if I post twice in one day. Muahahahahah. Okay, must go. Ciao.

Chris on 08.18.04 @ 04:31 pm [link]

Ummm....

Well, I'm tired. I've finally gotten this thing - is "gotten" a word? - almost just the way I want it. I'm not thinking straight anymore! Bah! Okay, time to go to sleep. Probably. After I see how this entry works. Ta!

Chris on 08.18.04 @ 04:26 am [link]

hello

let's see what happens when i try to post, hmm?

Chris on 08.17.04 @ 10:43 pm [link]