Tiny keyboard

I couldn't think of a title, but then I put my fingers on the keyboard to type, and MAN is this thing small! All day at work every day I have this weird huge ergonomic keyboard to use and I'm used to it. Now this thing seems like a comical little freak. Man!

Okay, over it. Next. I'm so glad I don't live with a puppy. I just babysat one for a whole week and, doooood, he is high maintenance! Sweet, though, for a puppy. He only bit me a little bit. Heh. I had him potty trained in one day. He peed in the house five times the first day. LOTS of pee each time. He used more toilet paper than me. Woa, too graphic. Anyway, then he didn't pee in the house again 'til a few days later when I came home for lunch and he was happy to see me. I just said no and made him go outside each time he peed. That first day. Then the next morning I rushed him outside when we got up and he peed out there and I said, "Good boy." He gave me this wry half awake look out of the corner of his eye, like, "Oh, THAT'S what you're after." Like it finally clicked in his head. Like before he was thinking, "I have to pee. Where on Earth else am I gonna do it?" Pah. My mother is really bad at training dogs to do anything. (It's her puppy.) She's great at sending mixed messages and confusing the hell out of them. I always have to train her dogs. I taught him to sit too. Yes, sorry mom for insulting your dog training skills. Pfft. Yeesh.

He is so shy he wouldn't go anywhere near her for about an hour after she got home from her trip. She'd only had him for three weeks before she went on vacation. I think he forgot her. Weirdo. Then he warmed up to her again. Phew! Cuz I had to leave eventually. I didn't want to freak him out. I think he believes his owner keeps changing. Like, "Oh, I'm living with you now, huh? Whatever." Poor puppy!

Yes, I have puppies on the brain now. I had to drive home in 90 degree weather every day at lunch just to see him so he wouldn't freak out and think we'd all abandoned him entirely. And to, you know, feed him. I could have eaten lunch at work. My car windows don't roll down, and using the air conditioner used to stall the car, but I was desperate and I used it and it didn't stall. Probably because I got that recalled part replaced finally. Whoop! Nice discovery.

I had so many other things to say. But my week was very puppy dominant. Is that good grammar? Anyway. He peed on one of my black socks - while I was wearing it - and I had to change my sock, and then I didn't have enough and I had to wear a pair of white socks to work one day. With black pants and black shoes. I kept looking down at my feet and going, "What's wrong with this picture?" Plus it looked really familiar to me. And kind of dorky. I realized halfway through the day that Michael Jackson used to wear that all the time in the 80's! Ahhhhh! High water black pants with white socks and black shoes. Then I couldn't get it out of my mind. I felt like a dork and like I was stuck in a dorky time warp, and I kind of wanted to moon walk.... And, yes, in the actual 80's we all thought that was the coolest thing ever. But you wait twenty years and look back and go, "Duuuuude. Whoa!"

I need water. Mission accomplished. Next.

It's too hot in here. I should turn the air conditioning on. Really, it's as close as 'stand, take a step, turn a switch', but I'm too lazy to do it. Eep!

Uhhh, I'm trying to be annoyed with the Will & Grace finale, cuz we didn't get to see the funny birthing scene with Grace yelling at Will, etc. I was really looking forward to that. I don't care if every sitcom does it. Hello! There's a reason. But other than that it was very sweet and nice. Weird, but good. Especially Jack and Karen. I thought they'd end up dead in a gutter somewhere. Something! Hee. Karen looks way too healthy for a drug addict. Oh well. TV fantasy, right? She's cute.

I still have to watch ER. Don't tell me how it goes! Hopefully there's a birthing scene! I have got to erase some of these exclamation points. Man! Oops. I stayed up for about 20 hours yesterday, as usual, and then got 6 hours of sleep last night. I do that every Friday. I don't know why. I'm just so happy to have the choice. So, I do it. Plus, I have a lot of shit to get done on Fridays. Yesterday I also had to pack up all my crap and move back to my own house. Where, thank God, there are no puppies. Sigh.

I would love to roll around in a field of heather right now. I don't know exactly what heather is.... but it sounds soft. They should have a smiley smiling with its eyes closed. Content smiley. That could be it's name. Home.... weeeeeee! Happy.

Stre-e-e-e-etch....

You'd think I'd just woken up. But no. I'm delighted that last week is over. It was stressful in many different ways. Some of them non-puppy ways.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, okay maybe I am still a bit tired. Geez. Small little space bar! Is that the name of this thing? The space bar? Look down... that thing. Yeah. Okay then. Ooo, a nap. What a nice idea. Some good air conditioning and a nap.... Yessssss..... weeeeeee!

I'm almost sure I had more news. Oh well. See ya later, peeps.

Chris on 05.20.06 @ 02:32 pm [link]

Weekend

Howdy. It's been a while. Hey, I put a new video up. Buffy related. "I Need Nothing Else." My back hurts. I thought I was gonna be cheerier in here. I guess not.

I keep having nightmares. Last night I was almost abducted by aliens. (In my dreams, I feel compelled to say!) It was freaky. I lost all control of my car and started to fall asleep and be paralyzed. Soooooo freaky. Then I woke up and was kind of freaked out still. Yick. Funny thing, though. The car was being slowly filled with divinity. That homemade candy? Yum, but I digress. I think it was representative of something. Being overwhelmed by something good. And not being in control at all and being freaked out by it. HMMM....

The other night I dreamed I had 2 sisters I don't actually have in real life and one of them was murdered and stuffed in a closet in our house by this doctor who was dead but left us a note about it. And all of us were afraid to check the closet and so we just went about our day in denial pretending the girl was just late. And I tried to get my mother to call the police and then I put my shoes on because I realized as soon as she did that we wouldn't be able to deny it anymore and we'd all want to run like hell. Out of that place. Ha! But that was freaky too. Man.

And this is a thing that generally happens when I am in love. Nightmares. And when I say "in love", I really mean "in emotional danger." Because let's face it, if you're cynical, or if you're me, that's pretty much what love is. Eh? And yet I take the nightmares as a good sign. As if, "Look! I have feelings. Yayyy..." I'm capable of love. That's something, right?

You know, I was gonna talk about my mother's puppy and all kinds of new and exciting things, but no. I'm talking about love. Bah! Well, it's more interesting. And troubling. So, why not? And I figured I'd analyze myself molecule by molecule and bore you to death. See? Fun.

Anyway, this love thing is not gonna work out. Just thought I'd warn you before the exciting cliffhanger got your hopes up. Cuz realistically these things never really happen. I highly doubt all the obstacles will just disappear. You know that saying that if you don't know for sure if you're in love then you're not in love? Well, sometimes it sucks even when you do know for sure that you're in love. And I have to say one thing for this strange situation, at least my taste in men is improving. Yay me. I guess that's not saying much considering 4 of my boyfriends tried to kill me. But, uh.... trust me he's a good guy. With no murderous intentions or inappropriate bad whatever anything. And I am such a sap. You put me in a room full of people and I will find someone to fall in love with. This is probably why I'm a hermit. Because I'm stupid. And I can keep a lot of the stupidness at bay if I just avoid people altogether. Good life, huh? Pfft.

So, the puppy is very cute. Pure bred cocker spaniel, white with orange patches, one across his eye like a pirate, and he actually has orange freckles across his nose. So cute! His name is Timmy. Can't you just picture it? He's called Timmy cuz he's so timid. Get it? And, no, he's not the one I'm in love with. Though he is pretty cool. We're just friends.

Sigh. Dumbass. It's like I'm a dumbass. But I swear love is like a nose dive I can pull myself out of. Every time. I can totally right this plane. Given time. And if I cared to. I've thought of some nice daydream scenarios. And if I was writing a book - 'cough' - they would go great in it. I've also written some pretty good poetry about this new "dangerous emotion". No, that's not a line in a poem. Man, I'm hungry. I mean, uh.... I gave up writing poetry a long time ago. Well, I had nothing more to say. Heck, I think I talked about this in my last entry. But now suddenly I am oozing with things to SAY. I pretend they're song lyrics and that I will eventually write the music. Which is weird cuz I've always sucked at song lyrics, but I really like these. The curse is lifted! Well, anyway. And I only feel better when I admit the feelings, so that's why I'm rambling on. Sheesh.

Phew! I feel not bad. I have this poem in my first book of poems about people, men, not walking lightly in my garden. Just stomping and running and then not understanding why I want them out. Anyway, I have this feeling this guy might walk lightly in my garden. And that is soooo cruel of fate. You just don't know. It's nice, though. That someone exists like that. Or at least in my imagination from outside any relationship with him, he is like that. Sigh. "But by the time I'm close to you, I lose my desideratum... and now you..." - Fiona Apple.

And this is not a shout out to him. He doesn't know who he is. Eh? I mean, he knows who he is, just not.... that I... well, you know. "Have feelings". Shhhhhhh! It's kind of like a secret admirer thing. Except the secret is who I'm admiring. Heeyyyy, that's backwards. Nice.

Hee. Okay, I'm going to go now. Maybe I have gotten the stupidness out of my system. Maybe not. Either way I hope the next time I write in this blog I can write about puppies and sci-fi TV shows and whatnot again. Cuz really... love is so going nowhere. In my experience. Ever the cynic.... sigh. Later.

Chris on 05.12.06 @ 06:30 pm [link]