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03/28/2008: "SOAP"Alright, I have to blog. Boooooooyahhh!!!!! Okay, I feel better now. Bye.
Just kidding. You ever get tired of being the sanitized version of yourself? I was getting tired of that. The toned down version of me I am for work, etc. Bleck. After a while you start to believe it and it becomes depressing. And oppressive. I've seen so many medical records I feel like making this entry in that format. Which for the most part, for the average progress note is this:
Subjective:
Objective:
Assessment:
Plan:
SOAP, get it? Nerdy, I know. But sometimes they actually call them "SOAP Notes". It's not just me! Yeah, now I have too much medical records in my head. I looked up "decubitus" today. It's not as fancy as it sounds. It just means lying down. Bah. Hypokalemia=low blood levels of potassium. Hyponatremia=low blood levels of sodium. Somebody stop me!!!!
It's good I got to me in time. I mean, that I forced myself to blog. Yeah, we'll see if I can get all this garbage out of my head eventually, sometime during this blog entry, so I can be weird in normal ways.
Oh, hey, check out this rudeness from the Universe. Two days ago my boss says out of the blue "Let's do your evaluation!" Okay! So, we do that, I get a raise. Then about a half hour later I come home from work and find a note taped to my door saying my rent is going up. Dammit!!!! So, I got to enjoy the raise for about 30 minutes. I guess that's why they call it a cost of living raise. Damn! It was like instant karma. Like the Universe seeing my extra money and saying, "I'll take that, please. Thank you!" Bastard! Gaarrrrg.
In other news.... I'm kinda hungry. That's not news. Ummmm. I've gotten into learning about herbs. Really obsessively lately. I took two days off from work and that's all I ended up doing. Researching herbs. WOW. I had three objectives. Regulate my period, find herbal birth control, and if possible make my period go away while still having a cycle (of ovulation). Yes, sorry, warning-girl talk! And I found a heck of a lot of useful information. Mmm-hmmm.....
I also am going to attempt to make an herbal tincture. For cheapness and ease of use. I'm going to use vinegar instead of vodka. I just can't see myself going into a store and buying a whole lot of vodka. With me giggling, "Oh, heh, I'm not going to drink it, hehe. I'm just going to make some herbal medicines, hee hee hee - 'burp'! Oops...." Okay, I probably wouldn't burp, but there's no telling with me. I would just feel so trashy buying vodka! That is what I get for being raised in a strict religious home. Two of my sisters were not raised in a strict religious home, and me and one other sister were. Not fair!!!!!!!!! Well, ya gotta ruin the first couple, right? Like a test. "Oops, that didn't work. Let's be more lenient with the others." Pfft. Bastards! Heh. I'm not bitter!
Anyway, can't bring myself to buy vodka. That's okay, someday I may work up the nerve. Plus I don't wanna be offended if they card me or offended if they don't card me. Nasty! It's a no win situation there.
And since I'm studying herbs, I looked to see if there were ant repellent plants. There are! Mint! Many types of mint. All I have are some minty essential oils that are very very old. I thought I might fumigate the house with them or something. If they haven't gone toxic or "changed" somehow. Yeeks. I'll be brave and check that later. I never thought I'd have a need for my essential oil burning contraptions. I have two. Weeee! 10 years later, okay I have a need. Good thing I'm a pack rat. Thank God!
Man, I'm not as hyper as usual. This day feels all wrong. I need to be more hyper. Or less high on... ? I have no idea what. I'm supposed to be making a tea right now. A medicinal tea. Which seems like a better use of my time, no? Nah, maybe babbling is good on some level.
Speaking of hyponatremia, heh. I got copies of labs I had done last year, and I have low sodium. I knew it! I always knew that. That was the only lab out of many that was abnormal. Now I have proof, ha! Or, if I have labs done in the future and it's still low, I'll have proof. Something like that. My grandmother had that. Low sodium. Anyway, I missed a week of work a month or so ago and it was because of low sodium, I suspect. I saw a doc, but forgot to have him check for that. But Gatorade - LOTS of it - or possibly antibiotics, fixed me. I strongly suspect it was the Gatorade, but alas I have no proof. I tell people I had an electrolyte imbalance and they say, "Oh, how did they figure that out?" "Oh, they never did. I just decided I did." "Ohh....." backing away. Because doctors are gods and if one of them didn't say it, then it's not true. Don't you know? Grr. Let us not speak of it.
Oh, hey, I figured out something else scandalous. I'm in a position where there is no one in my life to be offended by this, so I may as well speculate out loud. When women have had their heart broken, they want to take a break from serious relationships, so they stop dating. Period. At all. When men have had their heart broken and they want to take a break from serious relationships, they find an easy to be around girl and date her for a very long time with absolutely no intention of marrying her, kind of using her as a placeholder. ???? Ahem. Boys, that's rude. These women don't know you're doing that. They think you actually love them forever and ever amen. Duhhhh. DUH. That might be what a trophy girlfriend is, I've never cared enough to ponder it before. And I guess sometimes they DO turn into trophy wives, okay, I admit. Bleh. Ladies, stop being that kind of girlfriend. Maybe it can't be helped. Is it like 'yes men' but 'yes women' instead? I'm not being rude, I'm just pondering. About 87% of the men I've dated have dumped me and started going out with Stepford Barbie, so I'm starting to wonder why.... And no I haven't actually calculated that it's 87%. But I bet it's pretty close! Aaaahhhhh!
"Oop, have I said too much?" -Phoebe on Friends. Paraphrasing.
Also, I have tried to think of one man - ONE MAN - that I personally know who is single and not falling apart, and I came up with nothing. And by falling apart, I kind of mean alcoholism or something serious like that. And as for women, I thought of a ton of single women who were perfectly healthy and happy and fine. And by single I mean not dating anyone. Can men not live without women???? What is this???? Besides being incredibly weird, I have no idea what's going on.... You try it at home. Try to think of all the single people you know. Are the single men, if you can find any, not falling apart? Are the single women, I assume there will be lots, falling apart? Weird!!!! It just may be one of those biological brain chemistry differences between men and women. I just don't get it. It's kind of fascinating. I read in a yoga book once that women are complete all by themselves, but men need a woman to be complete. Wowwww. Interesting. I'm not judging! Well, I am a little bit. Mostly, I think if we all understood how different men and women were, we'd all get along a lot better. Maybe. [insert Cordelia (Buffy/Angel) cackle here.] Hehe!
Speaking of Buffy - and how can I change the subject after THAT?! - I have to go watch the Buffy Paley panel discussion thingy. I assume it's on You Tube somewhere. I won't watch it now, it's laundry night. I have stuff to do! But sometime. I also think I will redesign my site. Speaking of things to do. But not yet! First I have to plan it. Cuz right now I want to make it pink, and I'm trying to talk myself out of that, so we'll see....!
And, uh... is that all I wanted to babble about now? I've been saving up plenty of things. I can't fit them all into one blog entry. Oh, I love Dark Angel. Remind me to talk about that next time. Ha! You can't! Maybe I will remind me. I'll read this at some point and it will remind me. Okay. Should I make my shopping list in front of you too? Ha! No, I will resist. Though, it is grocery shopping night too. Alright then. I have to eat some dinner and gather all my crap together for going elsewhere. I'll see ya when I see ya.
Later.
