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08/27/2007: "Mameha"Sheesh. Titles. I loooove the character of Mameha in Memoirs of a Geisha. More so in the book for some reason. Well, in the book they really are very intricately made up all the time. In the movie, their hair is flopping around and their faces aren't painted white. Still a very good movie, just not.... true to the details. I have no idea why I am talking about this now. Why not?
It's better than whatever I was actually going to say. Hmm. I got all panicked last night before bed because one of my windows wasn't locked. I have no idea why. It hasn't been locked for YEARS. I got tired of locking and unlocking it, so I left it unlocked. Then I stopped using the window cuz I got an air conditioner. Then last night out of the blue I thought of how easy it would be for someone to break in with that thing unlocked. So, I go over to the window to lock it and I can't see anything cuz it's dark outside. So, I can't do it! It's this weird little gadget you have to attach to the window track. Complicated. So, I left it. I decided I've been fine for years, one more night will be okay. Then I woke up for every small sound. Great! Anyway, I came home from work and figured out how the lock works again and all is fine. ??!! Weird!
Part of me thought maybe I was having a premonition and I should listen to it. Like maybe someone was going to try to break in and I should fix the window. You know, "Don't get on the plane!" That kind of a warning. But I don't have premonitions. Not really. I had a really bad feeling before my cousin died, but I could never have pinpointed it. Weird things happened right before she died, though. In the week before she died I went to a funeral for the first time ever. And I went to a graveyard for photography class or something and I hadn't been to one in years. And the night before she died I glanced at the shirt I was going to wear the next day and got a really horrible feeling. (After that I swear I thought that shirt was cursed! I think another bad thing might have happened when I was wearing it and then I threw it out!) Another thing happened the week before she died too, like for the first time in years I went to the playground at the fair grounds where we used to play all the time as kids. There was more, this was 17 years ago, it's hard to remember everything. Anyway, if I had been paying attention, I might have noticed someone was trying to tell me something. Not that I think I could have stopped it, but.... maybe? Ah! These are grim thoughts. That has got to be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Which feels weird to say, cuz it happened to her, not me, but you know what I mean. Hmm.
Damn, I was gonna be funny in this entry too. Dammit! Oh well. You win some, you lose some.
I worked on my book this weekend. I fixed all the.... naughty words. But some of them I just changed to other naughty words, and then I thought, "Hello! Wasn't the point to get rid of those? Ah well." So, it was counterproductive, I guess. But whatever it is it's done. I saved it to a CD. Works pretty well. I still have to go change other stuff, though. I slip into present tense when I should be in past tense, and vice versa. That's the biggest one. Found a few typos too. OOo! Today at work I suddenly knew exactly what I want the cover to be. Eeeee! It doesn't necessarily fit the themes of the book, but I think it's perfectly what I want it to be anyway. Ha!
You know, I realize this book may be my masterpiece. It's pretty weird. It's the best thing I've ever written, and it may be the best thing I ever write. And I'm publishing it under a pen name. Pretty weird. But I have to. Says I. Though I don't seem to mind people knowing I wrote something like it, do I? Strange, but true. "Violence and crime, sad to say." -Nandi on Firefly. Love that line.
I love the character of Nandi. I thought of making that part of my pen name, but I didn't do it. Tooooo derivative or something. Too unique. I don't know. But I did include her in the name in some way. Ha! I'm so weird. Everything has to mean something to me. It's all very important. Ah, I see. Nandi, Mameha, I see a theme forming here. Hmm.
Sigh. See, to change the subject, last night I was watching a Supernatural episode (my favorite one at the moment, "Faith", but anyway...) and in it Sam just pushes open a window and steps into a house. And I thought, "Look at that. Within 10 seconds. People are so stupid, not locking their windows. May as well leave the door unlocked too...." Hypocritical, I know! But I didn't think of my window then. It hit me later, right as I was going to bed, and totally freaked me out. What's that about? Well, I thought of Brad Pitt leaving his window open and his stalker waltzing right in and putting on his clothes or whatever. Eeek! (That soooo would happen to Lex Luthor on Smallville. Oh, wait! It did!) And I thought of my mother's back door and how I said she should get a dead bolt. She: "Why?" Me: "Because this door is really easy to break into." She: "How? It's solid," blah blah blah. I said with a credit card. She didn't believe me. So, she took an old credit card, went outside, and I locked her out. Within 20 seconds she had broken into the back door with the credit card. So, she believed me, but she still didn't get a dead bolt! Instead she put a hole in the wall! Okay, a doggy door, but whatever! That is so freaky. Also, once, my best friend, who never locks her doors (as if she lives in Mayberry) came home to find the attic panel thing open and she didn't even look up there or wonder or worry what the hell had happened while she was away. ????!!!!!!!! I get so freaked out when people do this. When they don't care. What a weird paragraph this is! I don't know. Yeeshk.
I'm really thirsty on Mondays all the time. I don't know why. I just suck down the water on Mondays. Hmm. Very strange. Have not been able to figure it out. I really drank a lot of it today. Must have needed it. Hmm....!
Why am I here....??!! In the blog, I mean, not on the planet. Wow. Tired tired tired. Bahhhh...hhh.. The top of my head hurts. I thought it was because my barrette was pulling my hair, but I'm not wearing it now. Vitex is making me nauseous and tired. And a little headachey. I can't remember why I started taking it, but I'll see what happens and then maybe I'll remember. It was for girl problems, I just don't remember which ones. All of them! Why not?
Hey, my stomach muscles are getting stronger. Pilates. Nice. My legs too, which was unintentional. I was just trying to fix my back. Ha! Bonus. I should take my birthday off at work. I should take that whole week off. If I do, I'd better ask for it soon. I reeeaaaallly need a break. Oooo, I could take a week and make a video! But I will probably just work on my book. Creating the cover I see in my head. Proofreading over and over and over again.... Finally publishing the darn thing. Filling out the copyright forms, mailing them in with a check. Details, details.
I really have no segue into, "Okay, buh bye now." Hm. I like not being crazy. That was really not a segue of any sort. Hey, "segue" was the first big word I used in front of family members and for years afterwards whenever I used a big word, they would say, "'Segue'!" And laugh like it was actually funny. ???! I digress.
I should probably eat some food. I always say that. But I always write in here before dinner. What can I say?? Have you ever surfed the net reading conspiracy theories? I did that yesterday. No wonder I was paranoid before bed! DAmmmn! Cuz some of it, "I Want to Believe." Ah, you know the drill. Someone actually spelled the name "Mulder" for me today. Thanks, I got it. 'Cries into her pillow.' I hate living in a pop-culture-free zone!
Later.
